


Complications

by SapphireSoul102



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Cheesy, Confused About Feelings, Cuddling & Snuggling, Diary/Journal, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Therapy, Requited Love, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Tension, Schmoop, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireSoul102/pseuds/SapphireSoul102





	1. Chapter 1

It was a day like any other at The Glade. The Glade Hospital Emergency Room, that is. Lots of traumatic injuries and terrified patients. Lots of blood. Lots of stress.

It was Thomas’s second month working as an emergency room nurse at The Glade. The fast-paced, chaotic atmosphere suited him well, and he felt a sense of accomplishment by helping people. After filling out some paperwork on the latest patient, he went on his final ten-minute break of the day.

The brown-eyed brunette took a large swig from his water bottle and turned on his cellphone to check for messages. His roommate had called only minutes earlier. Thomas hit ‘return call’ and hoped his friend was still on his break, as well.

After two rings, a familiar voice filled his ear, a sound that strangely put Thomas at ease whenever he heard it.

“Hey, Tommy,” the lovely accented voice spoke calmly.

“Hey. You called a couple minutes ago?”

“Yeah, could you pick up some take-out on your way home? I’m gonna be working late. _Someone_ botched up the inventory again.”

Thomas smirked as he imagined the reprimanding glare Newt’s careless co-worker received when he informed the sandy blonde of his mistake. “Sure thing, Newt. You want veggie lo mein and chicken wings from that place downtown?”

Newt ran his fingers through his hair as a small smile graced his lips. “Heh. You know me too well, Tommy.”

Thomas smiled fondly at that. For what reason, he wasn’t sure. Maybe because he heard the smile in Newt’s voice as he said it.

“Alright then. I’ll keep it warm for ya. See you later.”

“Good that.”

~~~~~~~~

It was almost ten o’clock by the time Newt got home, nearly three hours later than normal. When he opened the door of the tiny, two-bedroom apartment, the faint smell of food reminded him that he hadn’t eaten since lunch. “I’m buggin’ famished.” Newt put a hand on his aching, empty stomach. Not having anywhere to go on a Friday night, he locked the door behind him.

Newt entered the small living room and saw Thomas playing a video game. He noticed a towel draped over the boy’s bare shoulders, hair still damp from showering after his shift at the hospital. Thomas wore loose sweatpants and sat on the edge of the loveseat, engrossed by his game; there just wasn’t enough room for a regular-sized couch in their little apartment.

Newt smirked at the intense look of concentration on Thomas’s face, brown eyes focused on the TV screen. He noticed a brown bag of take-out next to the brunette, seemingly untouched since it was placed there. Newt raised an eyebrow. “Looks like you’re doing a great job keeping those chicken wings warm for me, Tommy.”

Thomas suddenly turned his attention to Newt, who had a picturesque smile on his face. Seeing that smile made Thomas break into a grin, too distracted by the beautiful boy’s face to notice his video game character get mauled by a tiger, ending the game.

“So, you up for a movie tonight or just in the mood for video games?”

It took a moment for Thomas’s brain to register that Newt had asked him a question. “Huh? Oh, uh, let’s watch a movie. I’m not tired.”

“Great. Me neither.” Newt tossed his keys on the coffee table and took off his light jacket. “Pick something on Netflix while I take a quick rinse.”

“Don’t you wanna eat first? You must be starving. And I’m not picking the movie. You know I always pick lousy ones.” Thomas nearly pouted.

“I still trust your judgement, Tommy,” Newt smirked. “And besides,” he tugged at his royal blue shirt, “I smell like the stockroom at Best Buy. I’d rather not catch a whiff of that stench while I’m eating.”

“Yeah, good point,” Thomas chuckled. “Just don’t blame me if the movie sucks.”

The blonde walked behind the loveseat and took the wet towel from Thomas’s shoulders. “I won’t.” Newt winked playfully at Thomas and went down the short hallway to the bathroom.

The apartment was quite warm in the summer but Thomas still got a chill when Newt grabbed his towel to put it in the laundry hamper. He took a fleeting glance at his friend and realized the boy’s lithe frame looked great even in his ridiculous Best Buy uniform.

Then again, Newt would probably look great in just about anything. Thomas shook his head at the thought and went to the kitchen area to get two glasses of milk. He took a gulp from one of the glasses and set them on the table.

~~~~~~~~

Newt’s stomach growled loudly the whole time he washed up, the pangs of hunger becoming insufferable. He hurriedly finished rinsing off and wrapped a towel around his hips out of common decency, not even bothering to dry his hair or body.

Frustrated with the ridiculous number of movie choices, Thomas finally decided to flip through Netflix movies with his eyes closed. He stopped on a random one just as Newt stepped out of the bathroom. Newt padded his way over and sat down next to Thomas, who thankfully took all the food out of the take-out bag while he was in the shower. “Oh, God, I’m so hungry.”

The sandy-haired boy stabbed at his carton of noodles and slurped a forkful into his mouth. Thomas watched as his friend closed his eyes with relief and sighed happily while he chewed. “Is it hot enough for ya, buddy?”

Newt swallowed his mouthful and took a gulp of milk from Thomas’s glass, not that Thomas mentioned it. He wiped his mouth and smiled brightly at the brunette. “It’s perfect, Tommy. Just what I needed.”

Thomas smiled back happily at Newt, wishing he could always see that carefree, lighthearted glint in his friend’s chocolate-brown eyes. “Let’s start the movie already.” Newt nudged Thomas with his elbow, leaving a patch of dampness on the younger boy’s skin. Only then did Thomas realize Newt was, quite literally, dripping wet and naked under a towel. 

Newt crunched down on a water chestnut and looked at Thomas expectantly. “Well? You did pick a movie, right?”

Thomas didn’t fully hear him. He was too busy watching water droplets trickle down Newt’s neck and down over his sharp collar bone. Newt lowered his head to meet Thomas’s gaze and raised an eyebrow at his roommate. “Oi, Tommy, you alright? You keep spacing out.” _And staring at me_ , Newt thought to himself.

That snapped Thomas out of his odd trance. “Huh? Oh, I’m fine. Yeah.” Thomas stood up and turned off the lights. He sat back down beside Newt and picked up the Xbox controller to hit ‘play’. Newt arched his brow at his friend’s weird behavior once again before shrugging it off and taking a bite of a chicken wing.

The movie loaded slowly, and the silence felt strange. “What’s this flick called?” Newt asked. “ _Chloe_ ,” Thomas replied, reaching for his glass of milk. Newt thought for a moment. “Hmm. Never heard of it.”

~~~~~~~~

Thomas nearly spit his milk back into the glass when the image of a half-naked young woman putting on her bra appeared on screen. Newt was slightly taken aback. “Woah, Tommy, what kind of movie is this?”

“I don’t know. I had my eyes closed when I picked it,” Thomas admitted. He quickly paused it and pulled up the description to check the genre. “It’s an… erotic thriller. _What_?” Thomas didn’t even know that existed. Newt just laughed. “I think you found a buggin’ Netflix porno, mate.”

“Here. Pick something else.” The brunette held the controller out to Newt, a bit embarrassed. The blonde took the controller, but instead of looking for another movie, he simply hit ‘play’ and set it aside. “What are you doing? Find a different movie,” Thomas insisted. “Nah. Let’s just give it a shot. I said I wouldn’t blame you if the movie sucks, remember?”

Newt looked at Thomas with a warm smile. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Okay. Hopefully it won’t get too weird…”

Thomas silently hoped he wouldn’t get turned on by the movie while sitting less than a foot away from his best friend, though he doubted that would ever happen. He seriously couldn’t believe that out of all the movies on Netflix, he just had to pick this one. _Nice job, Thomas. Way to make your Friday night awkward as hell_.

About a half-way into the movie, Thomas wondered just how much more fucked up it was going to get. As comfortable as he was being around Newt and talking to him about personal stuff, Thomas really wished the blonde was wearing more than a towel. The amount of sexual content in this movie was just… unsettling, to say the least.

He didn’t dare glance over at Newt, who hadn’t said anything since he finished eating about ten minutes ago. A few minutes later, Newt suddenly paused the movie and pinched his brow before he turned to face Thomas, who was hoping Newt wanted to stop watching. No such luck.

“Okay, _please_ tell me I’m not the only one who thinks this Chloe girl is just creepy,” Newt remarked, waiting for Thomas to respond. Thomas was a bit surprised. “Yeah. She’s pretty and all, but I honestly wouldn’t wanna be in the same room as her. She freaks me out.”

Newt nodded in agreement. He turned back toward the TV and continued the movie.

~~~~~~~~

Newt exited out of the film once the credits appeared. “That was just…” he trailed off as he raked his fingers through his damp hair. “Hell, I don’t even _know_ what that was.” Newt looked at Thomas. “I’m picking the next movie. Agreed?”

Thomas laughed and tried not to think about how disturbing the movie actually was. “Please, be my guest, man. I don’t think I’ve chosen one decent movie yet.” Thomas thought for a second. “Oh, wait, wait, there was that one… what was it called? I remember there was a waltz in it that went something like this…” Thomas hummed the first five notes and Newt’s face lit up. He recognized it immediately. It was the first movie they watched together when they settled into their apartment.

“That’s from _2001: A Space Odyssey_. I think that’s the only repeat-worthy movie you’ve picked yet, Tommy,” Newt smiled and handed the controller to Thomas. “Here. Get it loading while I put on something that isn’t soaking wet,” Newt got off the loveseat, holding up the edge of the unpleasantly damp towel to keep it from falling. He yawned as he stood up and stretched his back.

“You sure you’re up for another movie?” Thomas asked. “I’m good,” Newt nodded in reply before going to his room to put on some comfy, dry clothes. Thomas browsed through the sci-fi section on Netflix when a wave of exhaustion suddenly swept over him. He soon found the movie and closed his eyes while he waited for Newt to return.

Thomas couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the bizarre erotic thriller they just watched. It really made him appreciate the simplistic bliss of platonic relationships.

~~~~~~~

_“Open the pod bay doors, HAL.”  
_

_“I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.”  
_

_“What's the problem?”  
_

_“I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do…”_

Thomas awoke around three in the morning to the sound of the conversation between HAL 9000 and Dave. “Huh? Damn, how long have I been asleep, Newt?” The brunette rubbed his eyes and waited for an answer, but heard nothing. “Newt?”

It took a moment for Thomas to realize that Newt had also fallen asleep at some point during the movie. He looked to his left and saw the blonde lying on his back, one arm draped across his chest, the other simply laying at his side. Newt’s legs were stretched over Thomas, his bare feet propped up on the arm of the loveseat. His hair was a shaggy mess, and his shirt rode up past his belly button while he slept.

 _I knew he was tired_ , Thomas thought with a smile. The peacefully dim lighting of the TV screen quickly lulled Thomas back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Thomas slept soundly on the loveseat and dreamt about nonsensical things as well as snippets from his past. One moment in particular commonly frequented his dreams: the day he first arrived at the orphanage. He never dreamt about how he got there, only who he met afterwards. It was a brief, seemingly insignificant moment, one that changed Thomas’s life…

A confused little boy found himself surrounded by whispering strangers. One of them finally spoke to him.

“What’s your name, new kid?”

“Thomas.”

“Well, Tommy,” the nameless blonde boy put his arm around Thomas’s shoulders, “stick with me and you’ll do alright for yourself in this place…”

The young boys smiled at each other and Thomas knew everything was going to be okay.

That fleeting moment marked the beginning of an unbreakable friendship, something Thomas felt endlessly thankful for.

The rest of Thomas’s dreams were hard to follow. Just blurred images and sounds. Shapeless colors. Undefinable emotions manifesting in his mind.

A bump on the knee stirred him into reality. He opened his eyes and saw Newt stretching. The blonde arched his back, slender body curved like a windblown sapling. Thomas sat up and yawned. “Morning, Newt.”

Newt turned toward his friend and gave a quirky, apologetic smile. “Sorry, Tommy. My buggin’ foot must’ve hit you when I got up.”

“That’s alright.”

Thomas really didn’t mind. He was just happy to see Newt’s priceless smile.

 

~~~~ 4 months later ~~~~

 

Blood. Blood everywhere. The smell of iron and antiseptics, the sound of respirators and heart monitors. Just another day at the ER.

Thomas excelled at his job. He knew all the emergency protocol, the standard procedures, and most importantly, when and how to make split second decisions under pressure.

None of these skills could’ve prepared him for the horrific sight of a fallen angel being wheeled into the hospital. Newt’s unconscious, broken body was silent and still, his golden hair dripping with blood.

 _No. This isn’t happening. This_ can’t _be happening_. “NEWT!”

The ambulance crew sped past Thomas and straight to the emergency operating room already prepped for the arrival of the critically injured car accident victim.

Thomas instinctively started to follow but another ER nurse snapped at him. “Get over here! There’s another one!”

The second car accident patient was obviously intoxicated and hardly injured; a drunk driver did this to his best friend. Thomas felt a hatred for this human like he’d never known. He bolted down the hallway to find Newt.

“Thomas! There’s nothing you can do!”

He ignored the voice and kept running. He could survive losing his job, but losing Newt… that just wasn’t an option.

Thomas quickly found the room where his friend was surrounded by surgeons and nurses trying to save his life. Thomas caught a glimpse of the blonde through the small window of the operating room door and his eyes went wide with horror.

Newt’s left shin was bent at an impossible angle and crushed beyond recognition, a mess of bloody muscle and fragmented bone. Thomas had to look away. That ER nurse was right; there was no way he could possibly help his friend in there, no matter how much he wanted to. It was completely out of his hands. He felt utterly helpless.

Thomas leaned back against the wall and sank down to the floor in shock. He hugged his knees to his chest, legs fidgeting with anxiety, thoughts racing with fear. _Please be okay Newt please be okay please I know you can pull through this Newt don’t give up you’ll make it I know you will_ …Tears pooled in Thomas’s eyes. The heavy, sorrow-laden drops fell from his lashes.

 _You have to_ …

All Thomas could do now was worry and wait…

~~~~~~~~

It took the surgeons several hours to piece together Newt’s shattered tibia and fibula. They used metal screws and rods and pins to hold his reconstructed leg together, and by the time they finished, there seemed to be more metal than bone. The torn muscles were also repaired, but the road to recovery would be grueling and painful.

In regards to the rest of Newt’s body, the injuries weren’t nearly as bad as they appeared when he arrived at the hospital, covered in blood. After taking care of his leg, it was simple enough to patch up the blonde’s cuts and gashes. The final set of stitches was tied off and snipped. It would undoubtedly leave a scar on the side of Newt’s forehead, but at least he was alive.

“All wounds are closed. Vitals are normal. Patient is stabilizing.”

“Excellent. Prepare a bed in the ICU.”

The head nurse nodded and removed her contaminated protective garments. The moment the door of the operating room closed behind her, Thomas stood up and grabbed the nurse’s sleeve to keep her from walking away. “Is he alright?”

“Yes. He’ll recover. No vital organs were permanently damaged and the central nervous system is also intact, but he’ll be kept in the ICU.” The woman’s eyes were full of sympathy for Thomas. She put a hand on the brunette’s arm. “We did the best we could.”

It sounded like an apology.


	3. Chapter 3

“Let me take a shift in the ICU.”

“You know I can’t allow that.”

“Then just let me see him.”

“No.”

“Please, just for a few minutes.”

“No. It goes against hospital policy to allow–-”

“Please! He’s my best friend! Just let me be there for him!”

“I’m sorry, Thomas, but you can’t see him. Don’t make me declare you emotionally unfit to work your next shift in the ER.”

“…I’ll be fine…”

~~~~~~~~

Thomas wasn’t fine. He barely slept that night. His whole body ached with a fear the likes of which he’d never known. He told himself that Newt would be alright, that they’d be eating take-out and watching movies again before he knew it, but Thomas couldn’t convince himself it was true.

Thomas’s cellphone rang at two in the morning, startling him into alertness. He quickly answered without checking who it was.

“Hello?”

“Thomas,” it sounded like the same head nurse Thomas spoke to earlier, “I convinced your boss to let you work with me in the patient recovery wing tonight. Your friend just awoke from surgery and it went well, but he really needs you right now.”

The boy’s heart nearly beat out of his chest.

“Where is he?”

“East Wing, Room 103.”

“I’ll be right there!”

Thomas hung up before she could explain anything else.

~~~~~~~~

When Thomas arrived at the hospital, he made a beeline for Newt’s room. Upon opening the door, he saw Newt sitting in bed, bandaged and bruised. Thomas rushed to his side.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, you’re okay. I’m right here, Newt. You’re gonna be okay.” Newt just sat there, silent tears flowing down his cheeks. He looked into his friend’s eyes with such a sorrowful expression it nearly broke Thomas’s heart.

Thomas gently wiped the tears from the Newt’s face, but Newt just shook his head and cried harder. “It’s g-gone, Tommy… it’s bloody gone…”

Thomas didn’t understand. “What happened?”

Newt didn’t answer, so Thomas looked to the nurse standing on the other side of the room. She had a solemn look on her face. “On the phone you said something about a surgery. Why did they need to operate again?”

“Necrotizing fasciitis,” she began.

Thomas’s heart sank.

“He developed the infection while he was still asleep in the ICU, and it spread from the inside out. By the time we realized what was happening, it was too late. The bacteria had caused irreparable damage. We had to perform emergency surgery to save his life before it spread any further.”

When she finished speaking, the nurse pulled Newt’s blanket aside. Thomas didn’t want to believe what he saw. Newt’s left leg was amputated below the knee.

“I can’t believe it’s gone, Tommy…” Newt cried. He held Thomas’s hand and squeezed it tight. “I woke up… and it was just gone… I had no idea what happened… with the car crash… or the infection…” Newt’s voice trailed off as his whole body trembled with sobs.

Thomas didn’t even know what to say. He felt too overwhelmed to think. He just wanted his friend to stop crying.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the brunette leaned in and gently kissed Newt’s forehead, then his cheek, before pulling away to look into his beautiful brown eyes. “I’m just so happy you’re alive, Newt. I saw you get wheeled into the hospital and I was terrified. I thought I might lose my best friend,” he held Newt’s face in his hands and ran his thumb over the blonde’s cheek to wipe away the tears, not noticing the wetness in his own eyes, “but you’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

The nurse could clearly see how much these boys cared for each other. She also knew that Thomas was more than capable of taking care of his friend on his own. She turned on Newt’s bedside lamp before flicking off the fluorescent top light. “Just press that button if you need anything else. Thomas will look after you,” she said, leaving the two alone in the room.

~~~~~~~~

Newt and Thomas sat in silence for a few minutes, Thomas holding Newt’s hand and waiting for the older boy to say something. Newt lowered his head and spoke too softly to hear.

“What did you say, Newt? Do you need something?”

Newt looked up at Thomas and shook his head, pure fear in his eyes. “I’m just so bloody terrified…” Newt whimpered, “things will never be the same and I’m scared… I’m so scared, Tommy… I hate this place…”

The blonde’s trembling lips were wet with tears and a feeling of utter helplessness crushed Thomas’s heart.

“Newt…”

Without thinking, he took Newt in his arms and kissed him. Thomas put all his love into that kiss, hoping it would make Newt forget about all the fear and pain, if only for a moment.

And it did. Newt forgot everything when he felt Thomas’s lips press against his. He closed his eyes and kissed back, pulling Thomas closer, letting the sweet, platonic act of affection wash away the misery that now poisoned his life.

“Everything’s gonna be okay, Newt. It’ll all be okay, I promise you,” Thomas whispered against Newt’s lips, breaking the kiss.

Newt looked into Thomas’s eyes and managed a sad smile. “I’m glad you’re here, Tommy. I don’t think I could go through this alone…”

“I won’t let you go through this alone. I’m right here for you,” Thomas gently pressed their foreheads together, stroking Newt’s golden hair with one hand, “if there’s anything you need, anything I can do for you, just tell me.”

Newt gave a genuine smile at that, his tears finally subsiding. He carefully shifted forward and removed the pillows from behind his back. “I want you to sit here,” the blonde patted the empty space behind him.

Thomas hesitated, not because he didn’t want to hold his friend, but out of fear that he might accidentally hurt him. “Please, Tommy.” Newt’s voice compelled him.

“O-okay. Hold on a sec.” Thomas remembered he still had a job to do. He looked at the monitor displaying Newt’s vital signs and made sure his IV drip remained in place. He shifted the blanket aside and forced himself to check on Newt’s leg; the bandages were still clean, which meant his wound didn’t reopen. Thomas sighed with relief. “Everything looks fine. How do you feel?”

“Tired. Really buggin’ tired. It doesn’t hurt that bad, though, just aches.” Newt glanced down at the IV needle in his hand and wished he could pull it out. “They must have drugged me up pretty good.”

“Yeah, you’re on some strong stuff,” Thomas stood at his friend’s bedside. “You still want me to sit there?” he asked, gesturing behind the older boy. Newt just nodded.

Thomas gingerly settled in behind Newt’s bruised body and wrapped his arms around him. Newt relaxed almost immediately. He leaned back to fully rest against Thomas, relishing the brunette’s familiar presence. Thomas smiled when a contented sigh escaped Newt’s lips. He was amazed at how quickly the mood changed for the better.

“Mmm… you’re so warm…”

“Are you cold?”

“Not really. I’m alright.” Newt’s hospital gown didn’t do much in regards to staying warm, but he didn’t care. He closed his eyes and thought about how nice it felt when Thomas had kissed him.

Thomas considered getting an extra blanket but didn’t want to move now that Newt was finally comfortable. He thought of something that didn’t involve disturbing his friend’s rest.

“Tell me if this helps…”

Thomas took a deep breath, letting his lungs heat up the air. He slowly exhaled his hot breath over the blonde’s skin, his open mouth only a hair’s width away from Newt’s neck. “Ooooh, God, that’s nice…” Newt murmured, voice soft and breathy. He easily forgot about where he was and focused only on the boy behind him. Newt tilted his head to further expose his bare neck to Thomas’s breath.

Thomas repeated the action and this time Newt noticed more than the heat. He felt the sultry moisture of Thomas’s mouth and shivered even though a pleasant warmth drifted across his skin. His senses tingled and his whole body started to feel hot when Thomas exhaled near his ear.

“Do that again, Tommy…”

Thomas did as Newt asked, exhaling his hot breath over Newt’s left ear, then the right. The brunette had no idea he sent jolts of involuntary arousal through the blonde’s body. He just didn’t think in those terms, especially with Newt, but when he felt the older boy’s heartbeat quicken, listened as his breath hitched, Thomas realized something was off.

“You okay, Newt?”

“Yeah… I’m fine…” Newt sounded dazed, “I’m so glad you’re here… I love you, Tommy… you’re my best friend…”

Thomas smiled and softly kissed Newt’s shoulder, lovingly stroking his blonde hair. “I love you, too.”

Newt fell asleep minutes later, and Thomas stayed with him until his temporary shift ended at sunrise.


	4. Chapter 4

“Wake up, hun. Time to change your bandages.”

Newt awoke to an unfamiliar voice. His eyelids fluttered open and he focused on the stranger’s face. A young nurse with short red hair smiled at him. “I’m gonna check on your leg now, okay?”

Newt nodded at the redhead and closed his eyes, absentmindedly thinking of Thomas. His healing wound ached terribly. All he wanted to do was sleep.

“This is going to hurt a bit,” she warned as she cut away the outer layers of gauze. The blonde mentally braced himself for the pain, but that wasn’t enough. He clenched his jaw and tightly gripped the blanket when the nurse removed the final layer, the one actually in contact with his body. _Hurt a bit, my ass_ … Newt thought to himself. He refused to look down at what was left of his leg as she carefully cleaned and bandaged it.

“How often do you have to do this?” Newt asked. The nurse seemed to perk up when she heard Newt’s lovely accent.

“At least twice a day,” she replied, pulling off her gloves. “My name’s Paige, by the way. Just press that button if you need anything. Here’s the TV remote. Your breakfast should be here soon. A specialist will come take measurements for a prosthetic either today or tomorrow,” Paige smiled warmly at him.

“Okay, thanks,” Newt sounded utterly disinterested and annoyed. He quickly fell back asleep, leaving the friendly nurse feeling slightly dejected.

~~~~~~~~

Newt had a bizarre dream as he slept undisturbed through the rest of the morning and into the afternoon.

He found himself in a stark white, empty room. No windows or doors. On the wall appeared a message, written in blood: _AFTER A HURRICANE COMES A RAINBOW_.

Newt backed away from the words. The lights went out. He felt warmth surround him, then heard the beating of a heart that wasn’t his. The world became beautifully weightless. Then came the icy cold.

Nothing made sense anymore.

 _I’m so scared, Tommy_ … _I hate this place_ …

Newt heard his own voice in the dream. An unseen figure embraced him in the darkness and kissed his cold lips.

Mouth to mouth. Skin on skin. Heat and movement and ecstasy.

 _Tommy_ …

~~~~~~~~

When Thomas came to visit Newt around two o’clock, he found the blonde sitting up in bed with reddened cheeks.

“Hey, Newt. You okay?”

Newt turned his head and saw the concern in Thomas’s eyes. He realized how ridiculous he must look having just woken up from a disturbing wet dream.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Tommy. I had a weird dream, is all,” Newt ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. He’d had random erotic dreams about Thomas in the past, but they never affected his body quite like this, and he could say without a doubt they didn’t actually mean anything. Something about this particular dream felt different.

Thomas sat in the chair beside Newt’s hospital bed. “You wanna talk about it?”

Newt shrugged, trying to forget about the last part of his dream and get the color to fade from his cheeks. “Nah. Not much to talk about. It was just really strange.”

“Okay then, well, uh, do you feel any better than you did last night?”

“I feel a bit better, physically speaking…” Newt trailed off, not saying what was really on his mind.

“What about emotionally?” Thomas asked, shifting from the chair to the edge of Newt’s bed.

“I’m… hell, I’m not really sure how well I’m coping with all this, Tommy. Thinking of how life’s going to change ‘cause of this… I just don’t know,” Newt’s eyes filled with a dark sadness in that moment, something Thomas hated to see. He leaned in closer and stroked Newt’s hair.

“You’re not alone in this, Newt. My life’s going to change, too, ‘cause you’re such an important part of it. You know that.”

Even the sweetness and sincerity of Thomas’s words couldn’t stop the melancholy ache in Newt’s chest. Words could only do so much to comfort a broken spirit trapped in a broken body.

“I know… I just…”

 _I just want you to hold me and kiss me, Tommy_ , he wanted to say.

“I just wanna go home.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth.

Thomas creased his brow. He knew the blonde wasn’t telling him something. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

_Yes. Hold me and tell me everything’s gonna be okay. Kiss me like you did last night. Make me feel safe._

“No. I’ll be alright.” That was a complete lie. Newt desperately wanted to feel the comforting intimacy and love that Thomas gave him the night before. He wanted to get lost in the brunette’s chocolate-colored eyes and forget about the world.

Thomas sensed an unspoken longing from his friend in that moment. He wrapped his arms around the blonde’s shoulders and pulled him into a gentle embrace. “Are you sure there’s nothing I could do? You know you can ask me for anything,” Thomas whispered in Newt’s ear.

Newt sighed and slipped his arms around Thomas, hugging him tightly. He wanted a kiss, and he knew Thomas would give it. He also knew he’d feel guilty and selfish asking for his best friend’s affection the same way one would ask for any trivial favor.

“I’m fine, Tommy. Really. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me or worry about me,” Newt spoke softly.

“I’m gonna worry about you no matter how many times you say that, Newt.”

“You buggin’ idiot,” Newt chuckled at Thomas’s stubbornness. The brunette pulled back far enough to see the smile on Newt’s face only to see that the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Thomas rested a hand on Newt’s shoulder and squeezed. “But seriously, what I said last night, about doing anything to help you get through this, I meant it. You just have to tell me what you need. Or want.”

Newt saw the love and devotion in Thomas’s eyes, not the slightest hint of impure intention present in his gaze. The beautiful blonde gave a genuine smile as he thought about how wonderful it felt when Thomas held him and kissed him. He wanted to tell the younger boy all these things but decided against it.

“Thanks, Tommy,” Newt replied, hands lingering on Thomas’s waist.

“Don’t thank me. I know you would do the same for me,” Thomas smiled and kissed Newt on the forehead, avoiding the bandage covering his stitches. The brunette briefly glanced at his wristwatch and frowned. “Shit, my break ended a couple minutes ago. I gotta go,” he sighed.

Newt’s smile faded when Thomas pulled away. He took a good look at Thomas’s face and noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

“You need to sleep, Tommy. Promise me you’ll go home and buggin’ sleep after your shift ends.”

“I will. I really need it,” Thomas conceded, rubbing his tired eyes, “but it’ll be hard to sleep knowing you’re here. I can’t wait ‘til you can come home, Newt…”

The older boy felt pangs of loneliness and longing when Thomas left the room. He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing that Thomas could stay, help take his mind off the harsh reality of his new life as a below-knee amputee.

The more Newt thought about it, the more he felt that nothing would ever be the same, including himself.

~~~~~~~~

The first few days staying at the hospital, Newt tolerated the boredom without complaint, and he looked forward to seeing his best friend every day.

Thomas brought the blonde a hazelnut-flavored coffee each morning – The Glade’s coffee tasted awful – and did his best to keep Newt company whenever possible. To Newt, Thomas’s visits were always too short.

Watching TV and reading newspapers failed to keep Newt’s mind occupied, so he spent most of his time thinking about all the things he would have to do differently now. The static monotony of his bedridden routine quickly ate away at his already dwindling positivity.

Newt tried to be thankful of the fact that his injuries hadn’t been worse, but he still felt a horrible bitterness seeping into his soul, a contempt for existence. He always had a troubled look on his face when Thomas wasn’t in the room.

~~~~~~~~

On the fourth morning of Newt’s recovery, before Thomas arrived with his coffee, Paige and another young nurse started talking about him like he wasn’t even in the room. They both thought Newt was still asleep.

“Wow, he’s a cute one, huh?”

“Yeah. Have you heard his accent? It’s gorgeous.”

“You think he’s taken?”

“Probably not. He hasn’t had any visitors, other than Thomas.”

“That’s true. Maybe I--”

“Is this some kind of bloody sick _joke_ to you people?” Newt’s distinctive voice sharply ended their conversation, “I just had half my damn leg cut off and here you are wondering if I’m _single_? Well, I am, but don’t get your hopes up. I’m not gonna be anyone’s damn trophy boyfriend.”

Newt looked at them with contemptuous disgust.

The nurses were speechless.


	5. Chapter 5

Paige and her co-worker nearly bumped into Thomas on their way out the door, embarrassment and disappointment written on their faces. Thomas overheard a troublesome comment as they sped past him.

“I feel like such an ass, Liz. He’s pretty upset. We should apologize…”

Thomas frowned and entered Newt’s room, suddenly filled with concern. He approached the glowering blonde and sat on the edge of his bed. “What happened, Newt? What did those nurses do to you?”

Newt just shook his head and took the hazelnut coffee from Thomas’s left hand; the right held a plain paper bag. Newt sipped the steaming beverage and felt its heat travelling down his throat, warming him from the inside out. He looked at Thomas and sighed, contemptuous feelings subsiding.

“They were just being girls, I guess. Talking about me like I’m a bloody Cracker Jack prize instead of a person, like something they’d wanna show off to their friends. They probably thought I was sleeping,” Newt took another sip of his coffee, eyes fixed on Thomas’s face, “I don’t get it, Tommy. I really don’t get how people can think like that, especially with what I’m going through. All they cared about were my buggin’ looks and my accent. It’s not right.”

Something snapped inside Thomas, like a dog breaking loose from its chain. A brief flash of anger and jealousy shot through him, making his whole body tense. He quelled the urge to admonish the nurses for making his best friend feel so objectified.

“Don’t worry about it, Newt. They don’t even know you, and they could never appreciate who you are. You deserve better than that.”

“Yeah, I know. I told them I’d never wanna be a trophy boyfriend. It’s just… sometimes I wonder if-- actually, nevermind.”

Newt took a large swallow of his coffee, a solemn expression on his face. Thomas knew enough not to push the subject any further. He breathed deeply and suppressed his curiosity. After a short while, he remembered the paper bag in his hand.

“Oh, I stopped at that bakery a few towns away to get you this,” Thomas reached into the bag and pulled out a perfectly golden croissant.

Newt's face lit up with a beautiful smile, as if the past few minutes had never happened. “Oh my God, I haven't had one of these in forever.” He set his coffee on the table and took the pastry. Thomas then handed him a plastic knife and a small container of cherry jam, Newt’s favorite.

The blonde cut the croissant in half and spread a generous layer of sweetness onto the fluffy, flakey pastry, licking the knife when he finished. “You're the best, mate. I can’t believe you even remembered that I had cherry jam when we went to that bakery. That was like four, maybe five years ago.”

Newt pressed the halves together and took a bite, relishing the taste. Thomas watched him fondly.

“Of course I remember exactly what you got, Newt. That was the day I completely fell in love with your smile.”

The brunette took a moment to actually process what he just said.

 _I’m such an idiot_ …

There was no way to excuse that comment, no alternative meaning to his words. Thomas honestly fell in love with his best friend’s smile. Simple as that.

And now his best friend knew.

Newt raised an eyebrow and studied the younger boy’s expression, chewing slowly. He licked the jam from the corner of his mouth. “Want a bite?” Newt held the croissant out to Thomas with a coy smile.

Thomas nodded and took a small bite, expecting Newt to tease him for saying something so cheesy and uncalled for. Newt eyed his now twice-bitten pastry and set it aside before smirking at Thomas.

“Heh, I never knew you liked my smile so much, Tommy. Wanna tell me what’s so buggin’ great about it?”

Thomas didn’t need to think long to answer that question, despite the embarrassment he felt.

“Everything. It just makes me so happy to see you smile, to know you’re happy,” Thomas gently brushed a lock of Newt’s hair off his bandaged forehead, “I love making you smile.”

“Then go ahead and make me smile,” Newt stared at Thomas expectantly, hoping he would take the hint.

Thomas heard the unspoken message and hesitated only for a second. He leaned in and kissed Newt’s cheek. The blonde smiled and tilted his head. “You missed,” Newt whispered, pressing their lips together in a gentle, sweet kiss.

~~~~~~~~

“Oh my God…” Liz gasped, half surprised, half disgusted. Paige silently gawked at the sight, hand over her mouth in shock.

The boys didn’t notice when the nurses walked in on their intimate moment. Their chaste kiss only ended once the happiness welling up inside Newt broke out into a brilliant smile.

Thomas felt pure joy blossom in his chest. “That’s it, that’s the smile,” he murmured, “that’s the one I fell for.” Thomas ran his fingers through the brown-eyed blonde’s hair.

Newt laughed and gazed into the brunette’s eyes, softly caressing his cheek.

“You make me forget about everything, Tommy. It feels so good to only think about you,” he leaned in to kiss Thomas again when a loud noise startled them both.

Liz had practically dropped an empty food tray onto a table to get their attention. She spoke up before Paige had the chance. “Why’d you lie and tell us you’re single? You could’ve just told us you’re _gay_ ,” she practically spat the last word from her mouth.

Newt’s smile turned into a scowl at the sound of her voice.

“I didn’t lie about being single.”

“So you’re telling me he’s not your boyfriend? Yeah, right. You were just kissing.” Liz couldn’t fathom the idea of platonic affection when lips were involved; she could never understand their friendship.

Thomas had heard enough. “What’s your problem? He said he’s not interested, so just leave it at that.” The brunette felt fiercely protective of his best friend.

A bit too protective.

Newt rested his hand on Thomas’s shoulder. “Don’t bother, Tommy. It’s not worth it. She’s just buggin’ jealous of you,” Newt stated matter-of-factly, “it’s kinda sad, really.” Liz glared at them and crossed her arms with an indignant huff, turning on her heel. Thomas stared daggers at her back as she walked out of the room.

~~~~~~~~

Paige sighed and pinched her brow in frustration. She and Liz had come to apologize. Now she was on her own.

“I’m truly sorry for being so insensitive to your situation earlier. It won't happen again. As for Liz, I’ll make sure she isn’t assigned to your care anymore. I’ve never seen her act so rude and unprofessional. I’m very sorry about all this.”

Newt considered her words carefully, gauging their sincerity based on her expression. He shrugged and replied, “It’s alright, I guess.”

Paige looked slightly relieved, but still felt guilty. “Um, can I get you anything before I go? Are you hungry?”

“Nah,” the blonde shook his head, “Tommy’s takin’ good care of me.”

Newt and Thomas smiled at one another and shared a brief, knowing glance, eyes saying what mere words simply couldn’t convey. They saw it in each other’s faces, a mutual doubt about the platonic nature of their relationship.

“I actually gotta get to the E.R. now. My shift starts soon,” Thomas pecked the blonde on the lips and affectionately ruffled his hair, “I’ll see you later, Newt.”

“Bye, Tommy.”

~~~~~~~~

For the first time in all the years he and Thomas had spent together, Newt considered the legitimate possibility of crossing the invisible line from best friends to boyfriends. It filled him with feelings he couldn’t comprehend with thought or words, and that intimidated him.

Newt wasn’t quite ready to delve into such a confusing flurry of emotions, so he flipped through random magazines while he finished his croissant and coffee, trying to relax.

 _National Geographic_ had some pretty interesting articles, but then Newt picked up a horrid magazine full of quizzes about sex and relationships. He scoffed and skimmed through it anyway, raising his eyebrows at the ridiculous content and wondering why people get paid to write it in the first place.

One title in particular caught his eye, and the slightest spark of curiosity stirred within him as he read it: Are You In Love With Your Best Friend? Take This Quiz To Find Out!

 _Don’t you bloody dare_ , Newt warned himself, _don’t go there_ …

He quickly closed the magazine and tossed it aside when another thought struck him.

_What result would Tommy get if he took that stupid quiz?_

Newt wasn’t really sure he wanted to know the answer.

~~~~~~~~

The days passed slowly, and Newt felt as if he’d been lying in his hospital bed for an eternity. Various doctors and nurses came in and out of the room, fussing with his leg and asking too many questions.

All that lifted his mood were Thomas’s visits, which now always ended with a tender kiss on the lips. It became harder each time to resist pulling Thomas closer and kissing him longer, but Newt was afraid of spoiling their innocent kisses by pushing it too far.

Thomas had even more trouble restraining himself from ravishing the blonde with affection. He eagerly wanted to take this chance and run with it, despite the risk. He tried to ignore the burning potential to turn their friendship into something more, the desire to venture into previously untouchable territory.

He told himself that Newt didn’t need anything else to worry about right now, that his priority was to help Newt cope and adapt to living with a prosthetic leg, but it felt as if the pull between them grew stronger every day.

The excuse of platonic love was useless now. This had gone beyond that, and they both knew it. They had cast themselves into a strange limbo between intimate friendship and blossoming romance, unable to classify their relationship.

But what do you call friends that show affection with kisses? Friends that seek refuge and happiness in each other’s arms? Friends that love one another more than anything?

Thomas and Newt didn’t have any answers. Both boys simply kept tongues behind teeth and didn’t question their new-found habit of kissing goodbye.


	6. Chapter 6

“You bloody well know the car accident wasn’t my fault, and it’s your damn _job_ to help me get another car so my life can be _somewhat_ normal again. Call me back when you find someone who actually knows what the bloody hell they’re talking about.”

Newt hung up and tossed his cellphone on the table. He gulped down half of his hazelnut coffee and let out an exasperated sigh. “I swear to God these people have their heads up their asses…”

Shortly after Newt got off the phone with his car insurance company, a physical therapy consultant came in the room to discuss recovery options. He suggested that Newt to go to a therapist who specialized in amputee rehabilitation; she happened to work at a facility at least thirty miles away.

Newt facepalmed at the consultant’s ignorance of the whole situation.

“You _do_ realize I don’t even have a car to drive myself to that PT center, right?”

“Oh… well then it looks like in-home physical therapy is your only feasible option, but it’s quite expensive.”

“Wait, you mean my bloody health insurance doesn’t cover it?”

The consultant double-checked Newt’s paperwork. “Yes, your insurance policy only covers the expense of your surgeries, hospitalization, and prosthetic limb.”

Newt rolled his eyes and sighed. “Well the prosthetic would be bloody useless without therapy, right?”

The man nodded. Newt sighed again. “Alright. How much does it buggin’ cost for in-home therapy?”

“Between one hundred and one hundred fifty dollars per fifteen-minute session,” the consultant’s expression never changed as he spoke, as if he just proposed a perfectly reasonable price.

Newt sat in silence for a moment, staring blankly at the wall.

_Holy shit. I can’t afford that_ …

His mind tried to process how he would get through this without going broke, stir crazy, and cynically depressed. It was too much to think about all at once. “Can you just… come back tomorrow or something? I really don’t have the energy to deal with this right now.”

“Of course. Myself or a colleague will stop by to further discuss your options once your doctor performs an evaluation of your balance, flexibility, et cetera.”

“Okay, sure,” Newt rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

Words couldn’t express how much he hated lying in bed all day. He felt like crying himself to sleep, but the tears never came, only dreams.

~~~~~~~~

Newt was still asleep when Thomas visited a few hours later. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Newt’s hair, running his fingers through the messy blonde strands. Newt made a soft noise and shifted slightly, nuzzling the pillow. In his dreams, that pillow was Thomas.

The brunette smiled at the peaceful expression on the blonde’s angelic face, the sweet rosy color of his cheeks and lips, the slight curve of his golden eyelashes…

Thomas was glad he had fully hashed out his feelings the night before. Now he could openly appreciate every little detail of Newt’s beauty without feeling like a harmlessly awkward stalker.

He definitely wanted them to be more than best friends or roommates. He wanted them to sleep together and kiss each other goodnight, go out on dates, say “I love you” like that first night at the hospital…

Thomas was in love, and he felt like the dumbest human on Earth for taking so long to realize something that should’ve been so simple.

Now he just had to tell Newt.

He continued stroking the blonde’s hair, gently twirling it around his fingers to feel the softness against his skin. A flood of thoughts rushed through his mind as he watched Newt sleep.

_Does he_ know _I’m in love with him? He must_ … _I practically said it like three days ago_ … _I’m so stupid_ … _why aren’t we together_? _Like_ officially _together_? _Newt wouldn’t have kissed me if he didn’t like me that way_ … _oh my God why didn’t I say something after_ he _kissed_ me _I’m such an idiot I was just so happy when he smiled like that and_ \--

“Tommy? When did you get here?” Newt yawned into his pillow. “What time is it?”

Thomas didn’t notice that Newt woke up until he heard his voice. He had to pull his hand away from Newt’s soft hair to check his wristwatch.

“Uh, it’s almost eleven thirty. You sleep well?”

“Yeah, kinda. I had some nice dreams…” Newt sat up and stretched, “but my bloody car insurance company ruined my mood this morning, and then some physical therapy guy came in and made it worse. In-home physical therapy costs over a hundred bucks for a fifteen minute session. Can you believe that? It’s so bloody ridiculous.”

Thomas frowned. “Doesn’t your insurance cover it? Or at least part of it?”

Newt shook his head. “None of it. I gotta pay for it myself.”

“Shit… did they say how many sessions you would need?”

“No, I sent him out before he got into the details…” Newt looked at Thomas with a dark hopelessness in his eyes. “It’s just too much, Tommy. I’m missing half my bloody leg and there’s no way I can afford the physical therapy to be able to walk with a prosthetic and now I won’t even have a bloody car for who knows how long… I don’t even know when I can go home…”

Thomas felt helpless whenever Newt got upset. He never knew how to console him. It always felt like his words were never enough. The brunette put a hand on Newt’s back and rubbed gentle circles between his shoulder blades.

“Don’t worry so much, Newt. It’ll only make you feel worse.”

Newt just sighed. “I bloody know that, but I can’t _not_ worry. All I can do is sit here and think about how my life’s gone to complete shit and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Thomas searched for meaningful words in his head but found nothing. “Please, just trust me when I say everything’s gonna be okay, ‘cause it will be. I promise.”

Newt laughed coldly. “It’s impossible to know what’s actually gonna happen, Tommy. Don’t make impossible promises…”


	7. Chapter 7

Thomas’s chest ached as he watched Newt stare blankly across the room, eyes fixated on empty nothingness. Each time Newt worried too much and got upset, he sunk farther into the pit of darkness festering inside, and Thomas could feel it, feel him slipping away. It was becoming harder and harder to raise Newt’s spirit from the depths of despair.

Thomas just didn’t know how to stop his best friend from being consumed by sorrow.

“I’m sorry I can’t do more to help you, Newt…”

The blonde’s expression softened when he focused on Thomas’s doleful eyes and he realized just how cold he was acting toward the one person who really loved him. He forced himself to forget about all the nagging worries in his head and managed a sweet smile for the brunette.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re the only thing keeping me from going bloody mad in this place. You’re doing more than enough. You’re always there for me and you make me feel like everything might actually turn out alright, as long as you’re with me. That’s all I can ask for.”

Newt cupped Thomas’s cheek and leaned in to press a feathery soft kiss on his lips. The brunette’s heart simply melted. He gazed into the blonde’s dark chocolate eyes and saw that Newt’s love for him perfectly mirrored his own feelings for the older boy.

No more reason to be afraid.

“Newt, I…”

_Tell him the truth. He kissed you. He_ loves _you. Say it._

“I just hate seeing you like this. It hurts to watch you worry about things you can’t control and I wanna do something to make it better but I don’t know what. It probably shouldn’t bother me this much but I can’t help it…” Thomas spoke softly, so only Newt could hear him, “I’m just… so in love with you…”

Newt blinked at Thomas, wondering if he were still dreaming. “Say that again, Tommy. I didn’t quite catch it.”

Thomas took a deep breath and repeated the words with more confidence. “I’m in love with you, Newt. I know I am. That’s why I worry about you all the time and miss you so much when I’m alone at our apartment. I keep thinking about you, about us, being together… I wanna be with you and make you happy.”

Newt’s heart raced and his insides tingled with a strange yet wonderful excitement. Only at that moment did he truly acknowledge the fact that he was head-over-heels in love with his best friend.

“We’re bloody morons,” Newt chuckled. “Ever since you hugged and kissed me that first night I was here, I couldn’t figure out why it made me feel so-- I just had no clue what I was feeling for you, and I couldn’t risk our whole friendship without knowing how you felt. I’m so buggin’ glad you told me the truth. I dunno if I would’ve had the nerve to admit I’ve totally fallen for you if you hadn’t said it first.”

Thomas couldn’t have hoped for a better reply. He opened his mouth in disbelief. “You really want to be with me?”

“Heh, you really have to ask?” Newt teased. “We’re in love. I don’t see why we shouldn’t be together.”

Thomas smiled brightly and pulled Newt into a tender embrace. “I love you,” his lips brushed against the blonde’s neck, “I love you so much, Newt. I’m so glad I can finally say it.”

“It’s nice to finally hear it,” Newt closed his eyes and smiled, holding Thomas close and cherishing the warmth and love radiating from the brunette. “It feels like I’m dreaming,” Newt thought aloud, his breath ghosting across Thomas’s ear, “I had a nice dream about you right before you buggin’ got here, but this… oh, I could just hold you like this forever, Tommy…”

The intimately sweet sound of Newt’s voice made Thomas’s heart flutter with romantic yearning and happiness. He pulled back slightly to look at Newt’s face, to see his lovely brown eyes and magical smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” Thomas stroked the blonde’s hair.

“Beautiful?” Newt questioned with a laugh. Thomas was confused. “What? It’s true. You are.”

The blonde gave him an incredulous look. “I’m a bloody mess. I’m covered with cuts and bruises and it prob’ly looks like I haven’t slept in a week. You don’t have to give me sugarcoated compliments just ‘cause I’m your boyfriend.”

_Boyfriend_ … Thomas thought to himself, _Newt’s really my boyfriend_ …

Thomas smiled and kissed Newt on the cheek. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful. I just never said it.”

Newt pondered Thomas’s words for a moment. “Ya know, not that much is actually gonna change now that we’re a couple. Once I get used to living with a bloody prosthetic and all that crap, it’ll be like it used to. Us living together and hangin’ out, watchin’ movies…” Newt’s lips curved into a flirtatious smile, “I guess we’ll eventually end up with a spare bedroom, though.”

“Yeah, definitely…” Thomas swallowed hard, cheeks burning with shameful curiosity as he stared at Newt’s irresistible smile. _Oh, God_ … _the things he could do with that mouth_ …

As if Newt could read Thomas’s mind, he pressed their lips together in a tempting kiss. Desire sparked between them, a magnetic pull that was absent from their innocent, pre-relationship kisses. Something stirred within Thomas and he quickly forgot he was still at work, still at the hospital…

He caressed the blonde’s bottom lip with his tongue, silently begging for permission to go further. Newt willingly parted his lips and let Thomas explore his mouth. The brunette soon got carried away with the open-mouthed kisses and their front teeth clacked together quite roughly.

“Oi, I thought you wanted to kiss me, not buggin’ eat me,” Newt teased.

“Heh, sorry,” Thomas blushed. The blonde just giggled quietly and kissed him again, but Thomas was annoyed by his own intimate awkwardness. He closed his eyes and fully relaxed into the kiss, letting himself melt into their sweet embrace without thought. It felt like floating in liquid serenity.

Newt gently grazed his teeth over Thomas’s bottom lip, making the brunette’s senses tingle with delicious electricity. Thomas reciprocated the action, earning a soft moan from the blonde.

Thomas wanted to hear that sensual sound again and again, but the obnoxious buzz of Newt’s phone vibrating on the table ruined his chances. Newt broke the kiss and glared at the phone in disbelief. “You’ve _got_ to be bloody kidding me…” he grumbled. They untangled their limbs and Newt reached for the phone.

“Who is it?” Thomas asked. Newt didn't recognize the caller's number. “I dunno…” He stared blankly at the phone before rejecting the call. “Whoever it is, they can go bugger off. I’ve got more important things to do.”

Newt wrapped his arms around Thomas and pulled him in close. Thomas smiled and gently rubbed their noses together. Newt let out an endearing little laugh and returned the gesture, eskimo kissing his boyfriend in an act of innocent affection. He then ran his fingers through Thomas’s hair as they grinned foolishly at one another, eyes full of unconditional love.

“You’re so cute, Tommy.”

_He thinks I’m cute_ … Thomas blushed. He was just about to kiss the blonde when Newt's phone went off again.

“Bloody hell…” Newt groaned in frustration as the phone vibrated a second time. He grabbed the bothersome device and begrudgingly accepted the call while Thomas sat beside him.

“Hello?” he sighed.

“Is this the famous Isaac Newton?”

Newt facepalmed at the joke that haunted him ever since childhood, the whole reason he came up with his own nickname in the first place. “Yeah, that’s me. My parents had a bloody warped sense of humor, as you can tell. Just call me Newt.”

“Alright, Newt,” the smirk was apparent in the man’s voice, “an associate of mine said you wanted to talk to someone who knew what they were doing.”

“Um, yeah,” Newt rubbed his eyes, “are you that someone?”

“If you wanna get outta this mess better off than you started, then yeah, I’m that someone.”

Newt was intrigued, if not slightly confused. “What, you mean I’ll get a better car than I had before?”

“I actually wasn’t talking about the car, although I can help you with that, too. I looked into your situation and you’re a shoo-in to get big bucks if you sue the drunk who hit you _and_ the bar where they got trashed. With your injuries, there’s no way you could lose.”

“Bloody hell, you’re right. But how do you know they got drunk at a bar and not at their house or something?”

“Dude, you should see this guy’s bar tab. It’s hard to believe he could even walk out of the place after drinking so much. You can sue every penny outta that guy and put this bar out of business if you play your cards right.”

Newt furrowed his brow and checked the caller’s phone number; it was different than his car insurance company’s. He narrowed his eyes at the phone before speaking into it again. “Who are you? Why are you trying to help me with this?”

“Name’s Minho. I’m an attorney.”


	8. Chapter 8

Newt pressed the phone against his shoulder to speak to Thomas. “This guy says he’s an attorney.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard of an attorney calling prospective clients.”

The blonde chewed his bottom lip and shook his head. “Me neither. There must be a catch…”

Newt raised the phone up to his face again. “So how much would it cost to handle a case like mine?”

“I don’t get paid unless you win the case, which you will. You’ll get some cash from the drunk who hit you, but suing the bar is what’ll make some real money. ”

“What’s your estimation?”

“The drunk’s insurance will only give a hundred thousand for the accident, and all that money will go straight to you. If you sue every nickel outta that guy for pain and suffering, you’ll get about half a million. From the bar, well, that’ll be at least forty million, and this is what you’ll end up with _after_ I get paid. Sound good?”

Newt paused, trying to comprehend what Minho just said. It sounded so simple, far too good to be true. “Are you bloody joking?”

“You lost half your _leg_ , man. That’s no joke.”

“Bloody hell… you’re serious…” Newt was stunned.

Thomas anxiously wanted to hear the other end of the conversation. “What? What did they say?”

Newt snapped back to attention and spoke into the phone. “Hey, uh, is it alright if I put you on speaker? My boyfriend wants to know what’s goin’ on.”

“Just give him the phone and I’ll tell him. Better not take a chance of anyone else hearing this.”

“Good that,” Newt handed the phone to Thomas, who couldn’t take the suspense any longer. “What’s going on? Can you help him?”

Minho raised his eyebrows at the new voice questioning him. “So you’re Newt’s boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“You got a name?”

The brunette was too curious to care about the attitude in Minho’s voice. “I’m Thomas.”

“Well, Thomas, here’s what’s up…”

Minho explained everything, periodically getting interrupted by Thomas’s questions. When he finished, Thomas could hardly believe his ears.

“Are you sure you didn’t mean to say forty thousand?”

“I’m looking right at the numbers. He’ll get at least forty million from the bar.”

“Forty _million_?”

“Yep.”

Thomas sat in stunned silence. Newt took the phone back and said, “I’d like to talk to Tommy about this. Give us a minute.”

“Sure, go ahead.” Minho leaned back in his chair.

The blonde put the phone down on the bed and looked at Thomas, both their faces expressing utter disbelief of the situation. Thomas spoke first.

“What do you think, Newt?”

“It sounds bloody amazing, if what he says is true…”

Thomas could tell that Newt didn’t want to get his hopes up only to get them crushed later on, but he still had a gut feeling that they should give Minho a chance.

“I say you give this guy a shot. There’s really nothing to lose.”

Newt nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right, Tommy. There’s no way I could end up any worse off even if this whole bloody thing blows up in my face.”

“Exactly.” Thomas had the spontaneous thought to check the time and realized he had to get back to work. “I’ll be back right after my shift,” he kissed Newt on the lips, “I love you.”

The blonde smiled and pulled him in for another kiss. “Love you too, Tommy.”

Thomas blushed, his heart racing with joy at the sweet sound of those words. He wanted to stay with Newt but knew there were other things that needed to be done. He affectionately ruffled the blonde’s hair before heading back to The Glade’s emergency room.

Newt took a breath and picked up his cellphone. “Alright, Minho, you’re hired. Let’s get started.”

~~~~~~~

Thomas’s shift ended late in the afternoon. He went to visit Newt soon afterwards and found him idly picking at his dinner while flipping through a magazine.

The blonde looked rather disinterested in whatever he was reading, but his face lit up the second he saw Thomas walk in.

“Hi, Tommy,” he smiled, “ready to hear some good news?”

Newt sounded unusually cheerful and Thomas was eager to find out why. “Yeah, of course,” Thomas sat on Newt’s bed, ready to listen intently, “tell me everything you talked about with… uh, what’s his name?”

“Minho. He’s a bloody miracle worker as far as I can tell,” Newt began, pushing his dinner aside, “Literally two hours after he got off the phone with me, he called back and said that everything’s all set with the drunk driver. I asked what he meant by that and he told me that a hundred thousand bucks from the drunk’s insurance company was just added to my bank account. That kind of transaction’s supposed to takes weeks at best, but Minho said this is such an open ‘n’ shut case that he got it all sorted out in fifteen minutes. Now I don’t have to worry about the cost of buggin’ therapy.”

“That’s so great,” Thomas grinned at his boyfriend, who had paused to take a drink. He shook his head at the brunette and swallowed his mouthful of juice before saying, “Just wait, Tommy. It gets even better.”

Newt got his thoughts in order and took a breath. “So apparently the drunk bastard didn’t bother to get a lawyer ‘cause there wasn’t a bloody speck of evidence for a defense trial. He agreed to Minho’s terms without a fight…”

The blonde ran his fingers through his hair and smiled with joyous disbelief, “and I’ll get almost five hundred ‘n’ fifty thousand dollars from him once all the legal crap is taken care of. Minho said it’ll only take two or three weeks. I couldn’t bloody believe it. Hell, I _still_ can’t believe it. I keep expecting to wake up and find out this is all a buggin’ dream.”

Thomas smiled and wrapped his arms around Newt, pulling him into a celebratory hug. “I knew everything would turn out okay.”

“Yeah, you were right,” Newt chuckled and returned the hug, nuzzling the brunette’s neck before smiling at him, “but I still gotta tell you about what’s goin’ on with the bar. That’s what really blew my mind.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about the bar. What’d Minho say about that?”

“Well first he said that my case might not even need to go to court ‘cause my injuries were so severe. There’s no way a defense attorney could ever make a substantial argument against my case. I mean, with the amount of liquor this arsehole drank it’s bloody ridiculous that they let him leave without making him take a bloody cab,” Newt shook his head in disgust, “but anyway, Minho did something to keep the bar from going bankrupt in case the bar’s owner tried to get out of this without paying up. Oh, but he seriously misestimated the amount I would get from suing the bar. It’s not forty million…”

Newt paused. Thomas waited in suspense. The blonde’s serious expression suddenly broke into a grin. “I’ll get almost _eighty_ million if he wins my case, nearly _double_ what he predicted. Now we won’t have to worry about making ends meet anymore.” Newt took Thomas by the hand and smiled lovingly at the brunette. “We’ll literally be set for the rest of our lives, Tommy.”

Thomas couldn’t turn his thoughts into words, but it wasn’t just the eighty million dollars that left him speechless; Newt had said “the rest of _our_ lives,” and that’s what got Thomas’s heart racing.

_He really_ … _wants to spend the rest of his life with me_ … Thomas got choked up at the thought of something so impossibly wonderful. He lowered his gaze from the blonde’s face. Newt watched the brunette’s eyes well up with tears and didn’t understand why.

“Tommy? Tommy, what’s wrong?”  Newt caressed Thomas’s cheek and Thomas grabbed Newt’s other hand, squeezing it tightly.

“Nothing’s wrong, Newt. I’m just so happy.” Thomas tried to smile, tried to stop himself from crying. One look at Newt’s face and the tears spilt down his cheeks in an overflow of emotion.

Newt had never seen genuine tears of joy before. He offered Thomas a small smile and kissed his lips. “Lie next to me so I can buggin’ hold you, Tommy.”

~~~~~~~~

A nurse came to collect Newt’s dinner tray about an hour later. She was surprised to find that Newt wasn’t alone. He and Thomas were snuggled together under a spare blanket, resting peacefully.

_How sweet_ , she thought to herself with a smile, purposely ignoring the fact that visiting hours would soon be over. She turned off the light and left them to sleep in the comfort of each other’s arms.


	9. Chapter 9

~~~~ 2 days later ~~~~

Newt was working on a crossword puzzle when he heard the sound of high heels clacking against the tiled floor. He looked up and saw a woman approaching his bed, holding a clipboard. Under the clipboard was a book, but Newt couldn’t see what it was. Judging by her professional, businesslike attire, Newt realized she must be the psychiatrist sent to evaluate his mental health before he could be released from the hospital. She extended a hand and introduced herself.

“I’m Dr. Amanda Cobblesmith. I just need to ask you a few questions.”

Newt shook her hand and nodded. “Alright.”

The doctor sat in the chair beside Newt’s bed. She crossed her legs and smoothed her skirt, pen poised to take notes. “So how are you feeling, Isaac?”

Newt shrugged. “Honestly, I’m pretty bored most of the time.”

“Not feeling depressed or angry about all that’s happened to you?” She scribbled something down without actually looking at the paper. Newt raised an eyebrow. “Um, not anymore. The first five days were rough, but I’m not gonna let this ruin my buggin’ life. I got too much to look forward to.”

Dr. Cobblesmith could tell from the subtle smile on Newt’s face that he was thinking about someone who meant the world to him. She nodded knowingly and inquired, “Your nurse Paige told me you have a regular visitor, is that right?”

“Yeah. He stops by at least once a day, usually more. I dunno what I’d do without him. I’d prob’ly be a bloody miserable wreck.”

“You two sound very close. What’s his name?”

“Thomas, but I call him Tommy. Always have, ever since we met.”

The doctor jotted down more notes and flipped to another page. She checked off several boxes corresponding to a long list of patient personality traits and behaviors before making eye contact with the blonde once again.

“Your records show that you spent quite a few years in an orphanage. Is that where you met one another?”

“Mhm. I was there for almost three years before Tommy arrived. I remember the first day he showed up. He looked so lost and confused, all big brown doe eyes and messy hair stickin’ up in all the wrong places,” Newt smiled fondly, a dreamy look in his eyes as the memory replayed itself in his mind, “we’ve been best friends ever since then.”

Dr. Cobblesmith scribbled on her paper once more before tucking the pen in the back of the clipboard. She focused her dark blue eyes on Newt’s expression. “I’ve treated several below-knee amputees in my career, all of whom had close family and friends to support them, but you’re definitely coping much better than any of those patients. Thomas must be very special to you.”

“Of course Tommy’s special to me. He’s my boyfriend.”

“I’m glad you have Thomas to help you through this. My only suggestion for you is to start a journal. It’s helped my previous patients get through the recovery process.”

She took the blank book from underneath her clipboard and handed it to Newt. He took it and flipped through the empty pages, remembering how he kept a journal as a child to help him deal with his unstable transition from England to America. He quickly set his thoughts back to the present and addressed the doctor.

“Okay. So should I write about anything in particular or whatever comes to mind?”

“The latter. Just write down your thoughts and feelings, or write about something that happened on that day; anything you want to jot down for whatever reason. This journal is for you, Isaac. Use it to help yourself,” she stood up and patted Newt’s shoulder, looking as if she were about to leave.

“Wait, you don’t have to ask more questions?”

“There’s no need. You’re mentally stable, and you’ll be released from the hospital tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Really? Oh, I can’t buggin’ wait to get home. Tommy’s gonna be so happy.”

Dr. Cobblesmith smiled. “It was nice speaking to you, Isaac. Good luck with your recovery.”

“Thanks.”

Newt took a deep breath and smiled. For the first time in weeks, he could really relax. The transition back to everyday life wouldn’t be easy, but everything was going to be alright.

~~~~~~~~

Thomas visited Newt during his first break of the day. It was a particularly shift at the ER, and he was happy to see his boyfriend. He sat on the side of Newt’s bed and greeted the blonde with a kiss on the cheek. Newt smiled and wrapped his arms around Thomas, who offered little resistance as Newt pulled him closer. Their lips met in a joyously passionate kiss. Thomas’s fingers tangled in Newt’s messy blonde hair and soft, contented moans escaped the boys’ throats.

They got lost in their own little world for a while, then Newt gave Thomas one last kiss and pulled away to look him in the eyes. “I get released from the hospital tomorrow, Tommy,” he smiled, “I can finally get outta here.” Thomas’s face lit up with a smile, as well, just as Newt expected.

No words were needed to express the happiness Thomas felt. He simply held Newt tight and gently nuzzled the blonde’s cheek with his nose. “Oi, that tickles,” Newt broke into a fit of giggles. Thomas smiled at him with adoration, unable to stop himself from grinning like a smitten fool. Newt blushed as Thomas stared at him as if he were a timelessly beautiful work of art.

“Quit lookin’ at me like that,” Newt teased, still giggling. Thomas kissed Newt’s cheek and ruffled his hair. “I can’t help it. You’re just so adorable, especially when you laugh like that,” he eskimo kissed the blonde. Newt smiled and eskimo kissed him back. “You’re so sweet, Tommy,” he cooed, cupping the brunette’s cheek with one hand, “I love you so buggin’ much. I can’t wait to go home with you.”

Newt closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss Thomas. The warm, plush softness of Newt’s lips intoxicated him, the heat of Newt’s mouth making his thoughts go fuzzy. Newt slid a hand under Thomas’s shirt, fingers caressing his lower back.  He spoke against the brunette’s lips between kisses, “I can’t wait… ‘til we’re alone… just the two of us… I wanna… feel more of you…”

“Mmm…” Thomas moaned into the kiss, his brain short circuiting from the low, sensual sound of Newt’s voice. He ran his tongue along the blonde’s bottom lip before moving lower, kissing and sucking his neck. “Not too hard…” Newt reminded him, as the doctors would surely question how a bruise appeared in such an odd spot.

Thomas licked Newt’s neck instead, exhaling his hot breath over the newly wet skin. It sent shivers up Newt’s spine, and his breath hitched at the electric heat radiating throughout his whole body.

“Bloody hell, we gotta stop,” Newt’s voice brought Thomas back to reality. He looked up at Newt with a puzzled expression. “The doctor’s supposed to check on my leg this afternoon. I dunno when they’re s’posed to show up, but it’d be pretty awkward if they had to interrupt us, ‘cause I doubt I’d even notice them walk in while you’re doing-- whatever it is you just did to my buggin’ neck. Besides,”  Newt smirked, “you get to take me home tomorrow, then we’ll have all the alone time we want.”

Newt gave Thomas one last kiss before a random thought came to mind. “Hey, Christmas is a few weeks away, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yeah. It is.” Thomas felt like an idiot. He had no idea what Newt would want for a present. As if Newt could read his mind, the blonde replied, “Tommy, you don’t have to get me anything. You know that…” Newt paused and added, “but you’ll get me somethin’ anyway, won’t you?”

Thomas just smiled and Newt laughed, pulling him into a hug. “Being home with you is what I want, and I’m so bloody glad I don’t have to wait ‘til Christmas for that.”

~~~~~~~~

The next day, Newt was finally released from the hospital. He felt so relieved to escape that sterile prison, so happy to step out of the elevator and into his third-floor apartment with Thomas.

The first thing he did was carefully make his way to the little couch in the living room. He set aside his crutches and sank back into the well worn cushions. Thomas sat beside him and smiled at the look of relief on Newt’s face.

“It feels like I haven’t sat here for months. I missed it so much, watching movies with you and just spending time with you in general. I was so anxious to leave the damn hospital that I hardly slept last night.” Newt winced at the dull, throbbing pain in his head, due to the lack of sleep. He rubbed his temples but the ache only intensified when he did so. Thomas saw the discomfort in Newt’s expression and gently stroked his neck to soothe him.

“Well, now you’re home and you can just relax.” Thomas took the square pillow from behind his back and placed it on his lap. “Here. Lie down,” he patted the pillow. The blonde smiled and rested his head, placing a hand on Thomas’s thigh as he shifted to get comfortable.

“Wanna watch TV?” Newt asked.

“Sure. What do you wanna watch?”

Newt shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Whatever you feel like, Tommy,” he smiled, “I’m just happy to be home with you.”

Thomas draped his arm over Newt’s side and smiled, as well. “Me too.”

~~~~~~~~

The pair decided to watch _Gladiator_ , commenting sporadically during the movie, which they had watched together before. When it finished, they realized the TV channel was going to play a marathon of movies starring Russell Crowe, so they ordered a pizza and enjoyed the movies in addition to each other’s company.

~~~~~~~~

Around midnight, when _A Beautiful Mind_  had finished, Newt yawned and stretched. “You wanna go to sleep now?” Thomas asked. Newt smiled and opened one eye to glance at the brunette. “Yeah. It’s been a long day. Let’s go to bed.”

Thomas helped him off the couch and put an arm around the blonde’s waist, acting as a crutch for his boyfriend. “Let’s go to your room, Tommy. Your bed’s nicer than mine,” Newt yawned once more. Thomas nodded, not really thinking about what Newt just said.

Newt flicked on the bedside lamp when they reached the bed and sat down together, the room lit at a pleasingly low brightness. He turned toward Thomas and wrapped his arms around the younger boy’s shoulders, milk and dark chocolate-colored eyes melting into one another’s gaze.

“I love you,” Newt murmured sweetly, “I love you so much…” He kissed Thomas’s neck, softly pressing his lips against the brunette’s skin, moving closer and closer to his mouth. Their lips finally touched and Thomas gladly returned the kiss. He held Newt tightly, never wanting to let go.

“I love you too, Newt. I’m so happy you’re home.”

Newt returned the embrace, smiling against the crook of Thomas’s neck. “So am I, love. I really missed you,” Newt caressed Thomas’s cheek and kissed him again.

“I got so lonely without you here. Just knowing you weren’t sleeping in your own room at night made it hard for me to sleep. I kept having nightmares…” Thomas trailed off and looked away, trying not to replay the awful images in his mind.

“I’m here now. Everything’s gonna be fine,” Newt cupped the brunette’s face in his hands. “Just think about how we can sleep together and wake up together, how we’re finally alone, how we can do whatever we want and no one will care…”

A subtle smile curved the boys’ lips as they looked into one another’s eyes with a silent understanding. Being tired didn’t seem to matter anymore.

Newt shifted himself fully on the bed and Thomas did the same. He laid Newt down on the bed and kissed him passionately. The blonde let out a soft moan as their lips moved perfectly together, like they’d done this a million times before. Thomas pulled away to gasp for air, gazing at Newt with adoration. “You’re so _beautiful_ …” he breathed, “I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful. You’re perfect.”

“You can’t say that.”

“Why not?”

Newt smirked against Thomas’s lips. “Cause you haven’t even seen every part of me yet.”

Thomas looked him in the eyes and saw a playful glint to accompany the smirk. He smiled and planted a soft kiss on the blonde’s plush lips.

“Then I’ll just have to say it again once I have.”

~~~~~~~~

The next day, Newt found himself alone at home. Thomas was at work and therapy sessions weren’t scheduled to start until next week. Newt got bored watching TV without Thomas. He thought of the journal Dr. Cobblesmith gave him and decided to use it. The blonde found a pen, settled comfortably on the couch with his blank journal, and started writing.


	10. Chapter 10

December 7th, Entry 1

A lot has changed since I last wrote in a journal, but the past is the past, and dwelling on it never accomplishes anything. All I can do is move forward.

It feels really strange to be writing in a journal again. It’s relaxing, though. It doesn’t have to be perfect or even make sense.

Life will never be the same as it was only a few months ago, before the accident. I lost nearly half my leg, realized I’d fallen in love with my best friend, and my attorney said I’ll be a multi-millionaire in the near future. It’s a lot to wrap my head around. I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions. Will I ever completely get used to walking with a fake leg? Are Tommy and I going to move out of this apartment any time soon? But one thing’s been bothering me ever since I learned how much money I’m getting. I just don’t feel right about keeping it all and never working again. I hate to say it, but Tommy and I would get bored living the easy life, no matter how happy we are spending time together. And if I know him, he’ll feel the same way.

I know he’s always wanted to travel, so now we can afford to go on holiday once I can walk, but staying home and falling into a boring domestic bliss routine would be bloody awful. Neither of us are suited for that kind of life, especially Tommy. I remember in high school he once mentioned maybe wanting to have kids some day, but he hasn’t brought it up since then. He would be a great dad, though. But I’m getting ahead of myself. If we ever adopt a child, it won’t be for quite a while. We’re too young to make such decisions, anyhow. Tommy only turned twenty three in October, for God’s sake. I find it so odd that he was born on the eighteenth, the same date Thomas Edison died, and they have the same initials, T.A.E. It’s bizarre. At least I wasn’t born on Newton’s birthday or the day he died…

I just realized I’ll be turning twenty six next August, but I hardly look like I’m twenty. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, to look so much younger than I am. Some people have said I look even younger than Tommy.

To be honest, being with Tommy is one of the only things in my life that I don’t have to worry about. He’s just always there for me, selfless and compassionate like he’s always been. I really don’t think I could’ve gone through this without him. It’s great to finally be home and sleep with him. Well, sharing a bed would be a better way to phrase it. The most we did last night was some kissing and heavy petting and such, even though we could’ve done more. Tommy seems ready to go full throttle sex machine on me, but I know he won’t push it, and he knows I wouldn’t let him if he tried. He’ll probably wait until I make a move. He’s just so fun to tease. I’m glad we’re not taking it too fast, though. From what I’ve heard, that never seems to end well.

I never really imagined myself doing anything like that, before Tommy and I got together. When I was younger, I wondered if I was asexual. I always knew I had no feelings for girls, and I couldn’t tell if I liked boys or not. I never had a crush on anyone, or if I did, I never realized it. I didn’t even realize that I was falling for Tommy this whole time. But now that I think about it, I suppose he’s been interested in me for quite a while. Maybe I’ll ask him when he gets home.

Until then, I should think of something else to keep me busy while I’m home alone. I start thinking too much when I have nothing to do, and then everything seems sort of depressing. I wish I could just go for a walk and get a coffee or go to a store and find a Christmas present for Tommy, but I can’t. It’s almost worse being home with nothing to do than being at the hospital with nothing to do. I guess I could put together the two thousand piece puzzle that’s been laying around for years. That should keep me busy for a day or so.

~~~~~~~~

December 12th, Entry 4

Today was the first physical therapy session. It was only twenty minutes long, but my muscles are bloody aching. I’m glad the therapist didn’t act like he felt sorry for me. Walking out of the hospital on crutches, nearly everyone who saw me had a pitying look on their face. I hate that, when people act like they feel sorry for you when they don’t even know you.

I don’t think I wrote this last time, but the therapist’s name is Albert. He likes to be called Alby. I’ve never heard that nickname before. Then again, he’d never heard of anyone called Newt. We didn’t talk very much other than him explaining stretches and exercises for me to do, but he was nice enough. I have a hunch that he and Tommy wouldn’t get on well. They’ll never have to see each other, though. The therapy sessions are scheduled when Tommy’s at work. I set it up like that so we could spend time together uninterrupted, but now that I actually know what the therapy is like, I’m glad Tommy isn’t here. I don’t think he’d appreciate having to watch someone else touch me. It’s really bloody awkward. There’s nothing remotely sexual about it, but I know he’d get jealous if he saw.

I’m drawing a blank on what else to write, so I’ll keep it brief for today. Tommy should be home soon, anyway. I don’t think he actually knows about this journal. I can’t remember if I mentioned it to him or not. It would be a rather dull read even if he did flip through it.

Oh, there was one more thing I wanted to write. Alby said I’ll start working with my prosthetic after a few more days. I can’t wait to get rid of these crutches.


	11. Chapter 11

December ~~16th~~ 17th, Entry 9

I can’t fall asleep for some reason, so I figured writing this diary would pass the time until I’m too exhausted to think.

I just realized it’s about 2:30am, so it’s technically the 17th now, not that it really matters. I nearly tripped over my bloody leg when I got out of bed to get this journal. Well, it sounds odd when I phrase it like that, but I really almost fell on my face when my crutch landed on the carbon fiber leg next to the bed. It looks utterly bizarre, but I think I’ll get used to walking with it easily enough.

Speaking of my new leg, this whole thing with the therapist is becoming a problem. Tommy’s been acting like something’s bothering him for the past few days, and I’m pretty damn sure it has to do with Alby. It all started when Tommy and I were talking about my progress with the prosthetic and he asked about the actual therapy sessions. When I referred to the therapist as a ‘he,’ I saw his whole demeanor change. I mean, he was thrilled when I told him how well I’m getting used to the new leg, but it was obvious that something had irked him.

Later that night, in bed, I fell asleep with Tommy’s arms around me like always, but when I woke up in the middle of the night and shifted to get up and stretch, he squeezed me much tighter than usual and pressed his face against my shoulder. It felt like he didn’t want to let me go, like he was afraid to lose me, so I just settled into the pillow and fell back asleep. It was really strange, feeling him hold me possessively like that. I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too much into nothing, but I don’t think so.

I just hope this weirdness passes once the therapy sessions are over. That should put Tommy’s mind at ease, though I wish he didn’t feel this way at all. He’s worrying over nothing, but if I tell him that, he’ll think there’s something to worry about. Dammit, I’m too tired to think about this. My head’s starting to ache. Maybe now I’ll be able to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~

The next day, Alby guided Newt through another therapy session. A few minutes before Alby had to leave, his cellphone rang. Newt idly played with his hair while the taller man spoke on the phone. He felt a bit ridiculous when Alby noticed him braiding a section of his long blonde bangs. Alby found it cute. In some ways, Newt’s cuteness reminded him of a child, mostly because of his youthful face.

“So, my next patient just cancelled their appointment. Wanna go for a walk to really test out that leg?”

Newt considered the offer and nodded. “Sure. I don’t see why not.” After all, Thomas wouldn’t be home for a few hours, so Newt felt no need to call and tell the brunette where he was going. It was only a walk down the street, but Newt took his cellphone anyway and locked the door behind him. He mentally prepared himself for the challenge ahead: walking on a surface that wasn’t perfectly flat like the floor of his apartment.

It didn’t take long for Newt to adapt to the different sensation of walking on the craggy sidewalk, though he had to focus on keeping his balance with every step. He knew that with enough practice, walking with his prosthetic would become just as thoughtless as breathing.

After nearly fifteen minutes of carefully navigating the cracked, uneven pavement, they reached the small cafe that served every imaginable type of coffee. “I love this place. It feels like I haven’t actually ordered myself a coffee for months.” Newt searched for his wallet in all his pockets, then he realized it was still at the apartment. “Dammit. Oh well, maybe next time.”

“Here, my treat.” Alby pulled out his own wallet and handed Newt a five dollar bill, which the blonde hesitantly accepted. “Thanks, Alby.”

The taller man simply nodded in acknowledgement of Newt’s appreciation and they approached the counter to order coffee.

~~~~~~~~

An hour after Newt left the apartment with his therapist, Thomas came home from work. Due to a scheduling mixup with the other nurses, the ER was overstaffed, and Thomas’s shift ended much earlier than expected. He picked up a caramel-hazelnut coffee to surprise Newt.

“Hey, Newt. I’m back,” Thomas called out with a smile. His smile faded when he didn’t hear Newt reply.

“Newt?” Thomas’s voice had the slightest hint of panic as he searched the apartment to find his blonde boyfriend.

The sound of the squeaky doorknob and idle chatter caught Thomas’s attention. He set the coffee aside and went to investigate the noise. Newt opened the door and saw Thomas smiling happily at him, which made him smile in return.

“Hi, Tommy. You’re home early.”

“Yeah, they were overstaffed and I got sent home.”

“Well, I’m happy to see you.”

The blonde rested his hands on the brunette’s waist and kissed his cheek. Thomas pulled Newt closer and wrapped his arms around his lover in a tight embrace.

Only then did Thomas notice the tall, dark figure standing in the doorway behind Newt.  
Newt felt the mood change instantaneously, and not for the better. He ended the hug and cleared his throat.

“Tommy, this is Alby, the physical therapist. Alby, this here’s Tommy. Or, uh, Thomas. I’m really the only one who calls him Tommy.”

The awkwardness was suffocating as the two taller men stared each other down. It was clear that Thomas did not like Alby, and Alby felt the same dislike towards Thomas. Still, they felt obligated to be civil in front of Newt. They extended their arms and stiffly shook hands.

“Thank you for helping Newt recover so quickly. We both appreciate it.”

Alby nodded in response. “Of course. It’s my job, after all.” He crossed his arms and shifted his stance. “So, Newt mentioned that you also work in the medical field.”

“Yeah, I’m an ER nurse.”

“Jesus, what a place to work.”

Thomas furrowed his brow. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, that’s quite a stressful job.”

“Definitely,” Newt decided to chime in to keep the peace, “but Tommy’s well-suited for his occupation. Both of you are.”

The blonde smiled and thanked Alby for the coffee once more before saying goodbye. He locked the door after Alby was gone.

“Well that was fun,” Newt huffed sarcastically. “Still, it went better than I expected, though.”

Thomas frowned. “I think he was trying to crush my hand when he shook it.”

“I had a feeling you two wouldn’t get on very well. Looks like I was right.”

“Seems like you get along with him just fine, though.” Thomas muttered. The tone of his voice nearly dripped with jealousy. “I’m gonna go take a shower. I got you a coffee, by the way, but I guess you already had one.”

_Dammit, Tommy, don’t be a petty jealous jerk and play the guilt card on me_ …

“Yeah, I did. Would you wanna drink it?”

“I hate hazelnut.”

And with that, Thomas went to the shower, leaving Newt to facepalm in solitude.


	12. Chapter 12

Newt grabbed his journal and quickly scribbled down his thoughts:

Tommy’s jealous of Alby. Their first and hopefully only conversation was nothing short of awkwardly confrontational. Not surprising. I’ll just have to make sure Tommy knows there’s nothing to be jealous about.

The blonde set the journal aside and walked toward the bathroom. Then he had the realization that he was actually walking normally without having to think about it, like the prosthetic was just an extension of his own leg. The thought made Newt smile to himself. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked the door before entering.

Thomas was too busy washing his hair and singing the wrong lyrics to a song to notice when Newt came in. The blonde chuckled when he noticed the botched-up lyrics. Thomas had a nice singing voice but never seemed to get the words completely right. Newt took off his shirt and stuck his arm behind the shower curtain to run his fingers through the brunette’s sudsy hair.

It took Thomas a moment to notice the extra hand scrubbing his scalp. Thought it was a pleasant sensation, he was still plagued by an involuntary twinge of jealousy. It made him irritable that he felt this way even though the logical part of his mind knew it was ridiculous.

“Newt, what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing?”

“Oh, shut it,” Thomas huffed. “I mean why’d you come in here?”

“To talk to you about what just happened.”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Um, how about your buggin’ jealousy?”

Thomas grumbled and pushed Newt’s hand away. Newt sighed and rubbed Thomas’s back instead. The soapy water trickled down his arm and dripped from his elbow, forming a puddle beside his foot.

“Come on, Tommy. Don’t be like that. I just want you to realize there’s no reason for you to feel this way about Alby. I don’t like him that way at all. You’re the only one I want to be with, and the only one I’d ever wanna touch like this. You know that, don’t you?”

The brunette was quiet for a minute, then he turned around and slid the shower curtain back to see his boyfriend’s face. Newt stroked Thomas’s cheek and waited for him to reply.

“I know, Newt. I just can’t help it. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t stop myself from getting that awful feeling in my stomach when I think about you… having feelings for someone else… wanting someone else…”

Thomas felt his eyes watering at the thought of Newt being romantically involved with another person. The water streaming down from the shower masked his tears, but the emotion was still visible. The forlorn look in Thomas’s eyes made Newt’s chest ache.

“I’d rather be alone than be with anyone but you, Tommy. I love you. I don’t want you to worry about this. There’s no need to. There’s no one else I’d ever want to be with.”

Newt leaned in closer and ran both hands through the brunette’s hair, scrubbing in small circles with his fingertips. Thomas wrapped his arms around the blonde and clasped his hands behind Newt’s back, pulling him close enough to rest his forehead against his lover’s. The simple, intimate contact felt heavenly beyond words.

“I love you so much, Newt. I never want to lose you.”

Newt kissed the emotional brunette on the cheek and smiled.

“You won’t, love.”

It took a second for Newt’s tastebuds to register the bitter flavor of the soapy water on his lips. He wrinkled his nose and spat into the tub.

“My God, that shampoo of yours tastes bloody disgusting.”

Thomas couldn’t help but laugh at that. The feelings of jealousy and sadness faded away when he looked into Newt’s dark chocolate eyes.

“Hey, can you get your prosthetic wet?” Thomas asked.

“Hm, good question,” Newt chuckled. “Why, you want me to join you in there?”

Thomas nodded. Newt gave him an apologetic smile.

“As much as I’d love too, I’d rather not risk losing my balance while making out with you in the shower. But next time you clean the moldy tub, I’ll definitely take a bath with you.”

~~~~~~~

A little while later, Thomas got out of the shower and put on the comfiest clothes he could find before joining Newt on the loveseat. Newt had just taken off his prosthetic when Thomas sat beside him. The sight of Newt’s missing appendage silenced the last trace of jealousy lingering within Thomas’s chest. The _Adventure Time_ episode “What Was Missing” played quietly on the TV, rekindling a memory of their high school years.

“Hey, Tommy, you remember the first time we saw this show? Life was so different back then. It all seemed so much simpler.”

“Yeah… we were supposed to be studying for a physics test but ended up watching cartoons instead. We totally fell in love with this show.”

Thomas chuckled fondly at the memory, but it felt as if an aching sadness had sunken into his bones.

“And you’re right, Newt. It really was simpler back then. Now everything seems so unpredictable and… complicated…”

Newt frowned at the disheartened tone of Thomas’s voice. He recognized the blank, detached look on the brunette’s face; Thomas’s thoughts were a jumbled mess, and he was trying to sort through them.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I’m just… I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have gotten so jealous. You’ve been through enough, and you’re still recovering. You shouldn’t have to deal with my stupid insecurities when you’re already going through so much…”

Thomas wrapped his arms around the shorter man and held him close, nuzzling against Newt’s messy hair. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, “I knew you would make it through this, just like you’ve made it past every other obstacle you’ve had to face before. And everything turned out even better than I hoped it would. I’m so happy being with you, Newt…”

“I’m happy with you, Tommy.”

The blonde smiled sweetly and pressed a soft kiss to Thomas’s lips.

“And even though you look bloody adorable when you get all pouty, I hope you don’t get jealous again anytime soon.”

Thomas blushed and ran his fingers through Newt’s hair.

“I’ll try not to.”

Newt shifted to lie on his back, using the brunette’s thigh as a pillow. He nestled in comfortably against his boyfriend and closed his eyes.

“Good that, Tommy.”

Thomas smiled and stroked Newt’s hair. The blonde hummed contently, dozing off to the background noise of the TV with a small smile on his lips.

Sometimes Newt was just so adorable it made Thomas want to cry with happiness. It felt as if nothing else could go wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

A few days later, nothing seemed out of the ordinary between Newt and Thomas, and that’s exactly how Newt wanted to keep it. While Thomas was at work, he scoured the Internet to find a Christmas present for the brunette, which proved to be more frustrating than he expected.

_What the bloody hell would he want? Maybe a videogame? No, I want it to be special… but I don’t know what he wants… dammit, I’ve known him more than half my life… this shouldn’t be so difficult_ …

Newt ran his fingers through his hair in aggravation and sighed. He decided to take a break from present-searching and checked his email. Upon signing into his account, he saw that his inbox was overflowing with spam, hospital reports, car insurance forms, a reply from his boss in regards to his resignation letter, more spam… but what caught his attention was a seemingly casual message from Minho.

Check your bank account balance and get your man something nice for Xmas  
Minho

Newt raised an eyebrow and did as Minho instructed, logging on to his online bank account. When the webpage loaded, it felt as if his mind went blank in shock. He could hardly comprehend the superfluous amount of money.

“Seventy nine… million… nine hundred ninety eight thousand dollars… somebody pinch me… this is buggin’ mental.”

The blonde was overwhelmed with relief and disbelief. The financial limitations on his life were practically nonexistent at this point. Money would never be a problem again.

It was nearly too good to be true.

Newt closed his laptop and went to the kitchen to get a drink. He tried to wrap his head around the millions of dollars at his disposal but it just wasn’t clicking. It felt like an impossible dream. Then Newt looked down at his prosthetic and remembered that only a short time ago he was hospitalized and his life felt like a nightmare.

He leaned against the kitchen counter and looked around the small, cramped room. A simple thought crossed his mind that brought a hopeful smile to his face.

_Now that we can afford it, maybe it’s time to find a better place to call home_ …

Newt went back to his laptop and started searching.

~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Thomas was busy searching for Newt’s Christmas present.

Thomas hadn’t been inside a jewelry store since he was a small child, when he still had parents to care for him. He marvelled at the obnoxiously huge selection of rings and wondered where to begin. Excitement bubbled up inside as he pictured the perfect marriage proposal in his mind.

He approached the owner of the store, a middle-aged man arranging sets of necklaces and earrings in a display case.

“Excuse me, where are the engagement rings?”

“Right over here, sir.”

The brunette scanned the assortment of traditionally delicate, feminine rings and frowned.

“Uhm, do you sell men’s engagement rings here?”

“One moment, please.” The man behind the counter went into a room in the back of the store. He returned with an assortment of shining bands locked within a glass case and laid it upon the counter for Thomas to see. There were at least sixty rings to choose from, but when Thomas scanned the array, his eyes were drawn to one in particular.

“Can I get a closer look at this one?”

The jeweler nodded and unlocked the case. Thomas carefully picked up the ring and smiled.

“Wow… it’s perfect…” Thomas held the ring close to his face to appreciate the simple beauty of its design. A white gold celtic infinity knot adorned with two teardrop gemstones set to create a small heart.

“That’s an excellent choice, sir. Very handsome. Would you like to customize it with birthstones?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“What are your and your fiance’s birthdays?”

“His is August 27th and mine is October 18th.”

The man wrinkled his nose once he realized Thomas was going to propose to another man, but a customer was a customer, and $1200 was $1200, so he reset his face back to a falsely pleasant demeanor and continued.

“Well, sir, both August and October have two gemstones. Do you know which stones you want?”

“Uh, I didn’t even know there could be two birthstones for each month. I just thought it was peridot for August and opal for October.”

The man cracked a slightly condescending smile at Thomas’s ignorance of the existence of sardonyx and tourmaline, even though only a gemologist or jeweler would be expected to know such obscure facts.

“I’ll be back in a moment to show you your other options, sir.”

As the jeweler went to retrieve a birthstone display, Thomas admired the ring he’d chosen for his beloved. The brunette was too busy inspecting the lovely ring to notice when a vaguely familiar voice called out to him.

“Tom? Tom, is that you?”

Thomas’s daydream of proposing to Newt was interrupted when he felt a chilled hand touch his arm. He looked up and saw a face he hadn’t thought about in many years. Her pale blue eyes had an eerie beauty that held his attention even though he wanted to look away. His memory of her had faded over time. Now it felt as if he had nothing to say to her anymore.

“Teresa? I didn’t know you worked here.”

The pale woman glanced at the ring in Thomas’s hand. She recognized it as one of the hundreds of engagement rings displayed in the store and her chest ached with feelings she thought were long since gone.

“Well, I didn’t know you were getting married. Is it someone I know? Someone from high school?”

“Um, yeah. You might remember them…”

Thomas trailed off. He didn’t feel like talking to her, but Teresa waited expectantly, full of curiosity.

“So? Who is it?”

“Do you remember Newt?”

“Of course I remember him, Tom. He was your best friend. You two were always together. I just didn’t know you were _together_ together.”

“Yeah, it kinda took a while to realize we liked each other, that way.”

“I’m ha--”

“Teresa,” The store owner emerged from the back room with a small display case, “there’s another customer waiting to return a ring. I’m already taking care of this gentleman.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll be right there.”

Teresa briefly squeezed Thomas’s hand and gave him a sad yet sincere smile.

“I’m really happy for you, Tom. I’m happy you found the right person for you.”

“Thanks.”

She took one final glance at Thomas and walked away, dark hair trailing behind her. The store owner returned with a display of all the birthstones available and Thomas’s thoughts returned to Newt and his ring.

“Sardonyx and peridot are the choices for August; opal and tourmaline for October.”

Thomas looked at the gems he’d never heard of before. It didn’t take very long to make a decision on which gems he wanted.

“I’d like sardonyx and opal.”

“That certainly is a unique combination, sir. Would you want sardonyx set as the left half of the heart or the right?”

“Um, left.”

“Alright then. Since I cut and set the stones here in the store, you can choose the exact stones you want. I’ll bring out the gemstones for you.”

The man withdrew a few papers and a pen from an unseen drawer and gave them to Thomas.

“If you could just fill out some paperwork while I’m gone, it would be helpful. Sardonyx is not a very common choice, so it may take a few minutes to find them in the back room.”

“Okay. No problem.”

After skimming through and signing the dotted lines on each of the papers, Thomas turned away from the counter to look around the store while he waited. Every display glittered with precious metals and gemstones. Thomas saw Teresa on the other side of the room. She was speaking to a tall, dark-skinned man.

It was Alby. Thomas’s stomach clenched and a subconscious wave of jealousy swept over him. He couldn’t hear what Alby was saying, but he looked rather depressed, like he’d been crying.

The sound of the store owner’s footsteps drew his attention back to choosing the stones for Newt’s ring. Thomas couldn’t hear Alby’s conversation on the other side of the store as he searched for the perfect stones.

“Are you sure it’s non-refundable?” Alby asked Teresa.

“I’m sorry, but yes. Any type of jewelry with personalized engravings like this cannot be returned for a refund. Engravings with common names are sometimes accepted for a partial refund, such as Emily, Elizabeth, and others, but this is a name I’ve never seen spelled this way before. I seriously doubt my boss will give you any refund for this ring.”

“Then can I return it for no refund?”

Teresa raised an eyebrow. “You would probably be better off seeing how much a pawn shop would give you instead of just giving it back to our store for nothing.”

“No… I just want to get rid of it. It makes me sick to look at it.”

“Alright, if you’re sure about that, I can take it. I just need a written agreement that you voluntarily relinquish it.”

Alby gave a cold laugh at her words and simply turned away.

“Believe me, I’ll never want it back.”

As he approached the door to leave, Alby noticed a familiar figure with messy brown hair leaning over a small case of reddish gemstones. His mind quickly connected the dots and he realized why Thomas was here.

Alby watched Thomas intently sifting through a container of sardonyx for a while before finally asking a purposefully hurtful question.

“You really think Newt will say yes?”

Thomas’s body tensed up at the sound of Alby’s voice. He turned to face the taller man, who still looked rather unhappy. Thomas didn’t want to deal with the guy he assumed had feelings for his blonde boyfriend, but he didn’t have much choice.

“Yeah, I do. We love each other, so why wouldn’t he?”

“Because nothing is ever that simple,” Alby snapped. “Love is never a certainty, and you never really know what someone else is thinking, or at least, it seems that way. I thought Carolynne would say yes. She seemed so happy, but then all of a sudden, we split up, before I even had a chance to propose…”

Alby went silent for a moment as he stared down at the ring Thomas had chosen for Newt.

“You know, I looked just as happy as you when I found the perfect ring for her. We’d been happy together for so long, I really thought she was the one. Just shows how much you can never know about a person, no matter how close you think you are.”

With a heavy sigh, Alby walked away and left

All the jealousy Thomas felt had faded away. His stomach ached with doubt. He wasn’t so certain that Newt would say yes anymore. After all, they hadn’t even been a couple for two whole months and Thomas already wanted to pop the big question. It was impractical and ridiculous, or at least that’s what he assumed Newt would think once Thomas pulled out the engagement ring.

Thomas ran his fingertips over the smooth opal and sardonyx stones before handing them to the jeweler.

“I’d like these two, please.”

The man behind the counter placed the stones in a small plastic bag and stapled the bag to the stack of paperwork.

“Excellent choice, sir. It should take about a week to complete the ring. I’ll call you when it is ready.”

~~~~~~~~

Thomas went home with a flurry of thoughts swirling in his head, but one thought irked him especially.

_Would Newt even want to get married?_


	14. Chapter 14

The brunette arrived at home a few hours later than usual. Newt was sitting on the couch with his laptop and a cup of tea. He closed the laptop and set it on the table when Thomas sat beside him. 

“Hi, Tommy. You’re home late. Were you out finding me a Christmas present?”

“Not exactly.”

Thomas snuggled up against Newt, holding him close and inhaling his lover’s scent. He gently kissed the blonde’s neck, making his skin tingle with warmth.

“Mmm… Tommy…”

Thomas suddenly pulled Newt onto his lap, straddling his hips. He cupped Newt’s cheek with one hand and gently pressed their foreheads together, noses brushing, mouths so close that they felt each other’s breath on their lips.

“I want you so badly.”

Newt sighed and kissed Thomas softly on the lips.

“Not tonight, love. I’ve got such a headache. I just want to go to sleep”

The silent disappointment in Thomas’s demeanor was clearly noticeable, and it irked Newt considerably. He got off of Thomas’s lap and walked toward the bedroom.

“I’m going to bed early tonight. Love you, Tommy.”

Thomas looked at the clock; it was only 9:20pm. Newt never went to bed this early. It made Thomas wonder if he went too far or not, but apparently, it was too far by the blonde’s standards.

“Newt, wait. Are you alright?”

“Like I said, I’m bloody tired is all.”

“Would you want me to join you?”

“Suit yourself. I’ll fall asleep either way.”

_Shit, why did I have to make him upset_ … _what kind of boyfriend am I_?

~~~~~~~~

About an hour of peaceful sleep had passed when Newt awoke to the shifting of his bedmate. Thomas rolled over and settled after a few seconds and Newt tried to fall back asleep. A couple minutes later, Newt was disturbed by the brunette again, and it was beginning to irk him. Thomas finally stopped moving and let out a sigh. Newt hoped that meant he was comfortable. 

Right before slipping into a pleasant dream, Newt’s patience was shattered when he felt Thomas roll over again.

“Dammit, Tommy! Either get comfy and go to sleep or get the hell outta the bed! I’m bloody exhausted!”

“I’m sorry Newt. I just can’t get comfortable. It’s like I can’t relax. I can’t stop thinking about something.”

“Well go think about it somewhere else if you can’t stay still,” Newt grumbled into his pillow.

Thomas sat up and tried to stay quiet, but there was a question in his head and his mind wouldn’t rest until it was answered.

“Hey, Newt?”

“What?”

“How long do you think a couple should wait before they get married?”

It took Newt a few seconds to process the question in his irritated state. He furrowed his brow and sighed deeply.

“ _What_? Tommy, just… what the hell. I’m too tired for this.”

“I was just wondering how long people should wait before they get married.”

“Google it.”

Not quite the answer Thomas was hoping for.

“Alright. I love you, Newt.”

The blonde grumbled in response and buried his face into his pillow.

Thomas felt like he kept screwing up now that Alby planted that seed of doubt in his mind about his relationship with Newt. He hoped the next day would be better, but there was a funny feeling in the pit of his gut that something was about to go terribly wrong.


	15. Chapter 15

It was Saturday morning and Newt woke up alone. He reached over expecting to feel a warm body but felt warm blankets instead.

“Tommy?”

Sitting up, Newt realized he was alone in the room. He listened for any sound of movement in the rest of the apartment but heard nothing. Thomas didn’t have work today, but he wasn’t home.

Newt got out of bed and wondered where his brunette had gone off to at such an early time. When he got to the kitchen to make coffee, he saw a note.

Went for a run. Be back later. I love you.  
~Thomas

Newt didn’t trust this innocent-sounding note. He decided to follow Thomas to see just what he was up to.

~~~~~~~~

Thomas had left the apartment only ten minutes ago. He felt like going for a run and ended up travelling past the same jewelry store he had visited yesterday. It felt like he had been there in a dream.

Outside the store, Teresa was standing with a co worker on break. What surprised him was that she was sharing a cigarette with a woman Thomas recognized as Brenda, from college. It reminded him how Newt used to smoke during stressful times in his life. The two women were laughing at something on Brenda’s cell phone. 

Thomas wondered if they knew that he had dated both of them; one during high school, one during college. Neither relationship worked out. He quickly decided against going inside the store and crossed the street to stay as far away from them as possible, but it was too late. He was already spotted by the short brunette in front of the store.

“Hey! Thomas!”

The stream of traffic cruising along the street was loud enough for Thomas to pretend that it drowned out Brenda’s voice, but he still heard her calling.

“Maybe he can’t hear you, Brenda. Traffic’s pretty loud.”

“Bullshit he can’t hear me. He’s always had great hearing.”

“Well maybe he’s just avoiding us. He probably doesn’t want to be questioned about suddenly coming out of the closet.”

“You mean Thomas isn’t straight? Wow, I didn’t see that coming,” Brenda rolled her eyes.

“You’re not surprised? I had no idea until he came in the store yesterday to get an engagement ring for Newt.”

“Is that the skinny blonde British kid he always talked about?”

“Yeah. They’re a couple now, I guess.”

Brenda took a long drag from her cigarette before passing it to Teresa.

“Took ‘em long enough. Wait a second… isn’t that him? Newt?”

“Oh, wow, you’re right! Hey! Congrats on the engagement, Newt!”

The blonde amputee stopped dead in his tracks.

“Teresa? Brenda? What are you talking about? What engagement?”

~~~~~~~~

“Shit, that was too close.”

Thomas continued on his run, blissfully unaware of the conversation unfolding between his ex-girlfriends and his boyfriend. After another five minutes of running, he took a bad step and tripped, twisting his ankle.

“Dammit!”

The brunette stood up and tried to walk it off, but all he could manage was a pitiful limp. He sat down on the sidewalk and felt his ankle for any serious damage when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned around and was surprised to see his boyfriend’s blank expression glaring down at him.

“We need to talk.”

“Newt? What are you doing out here? What’s wrong?”

Thomas stood up once more and winced when he tried to put pressure on his sprained ankle. Newt put his arm around the injured brunette and helped him walk back toward their apartment.

“I went to see if I could find you. I had a feeling you weren’t just going out for a walk, especially after what you said to me in bed last night. It just didn’t make sense. So I tried to follow you. Then I walked past a jewelry store and your ex-girlfriend Teresa congratulated me on my engagement…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’ is right.”

“Newt, I--”

“No. We’re gonna talk about this back at home.”

Thomas was silent for the long walk home. It took about thirty minutes to reach the door, but the walk felt like hours of awkward silence.

Newt helped Thomas walk to the loveseat and asked if he needed some ice for his ankle. The brunette nodded silently and waited for Newt to return with an icepack. 

Thomas propped his leg up on the table and Newt placed the cold compress onto his ankle, making Thomas wince. After that, Newt sat beside him and began the conversation with a sigh.

“Tommy, what made you think it would be a good idea to make such an important decision without asking me first? And I know you already got a ring, too.”

“Well, back at the hospital you basically said you wanted to spend your whole life with me, right? I thought that meant you’d want to get married and--”

“Getting married and spending the rest of our lives together don’t mean the same thing.”

“So you… you don’t want to marry me?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t really see why it’s necessary. We already know we love each other and want to be together, so why do we need rings and legal documentation to show it?”

That stumped Thomas. He always grew up with the idea that when two people were in love, they got married. He never really considered that Newt wouldn’t agree with that philosophy.

“I… I guess we don’t but… I just…”

“You’re just a bloody romantic that really wants to marry me.”

“Yeah. That’s basically it.”

Thomas smiled sheepishly, cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. He really was a romantic sap.

“So, will you marry me?”

“I dunno, Tommy. You didn’t even let me pick out my own engagement ring…”

Thomas smiled at the teasing tone of Newt’s voice. The blonde even pouted and crossed his arms before cracking a smirk.

“Yes, Tommy. Of course we can get married if it means so much to you.”

“I love you, Newt.”

“I love you, too, Tommy. And I sorta have a confession to make. I’ve been working on a big decision without asking you about it, either. It was going to be a surprise for Christmas but I think I should tell you now.”

“No, I like surprises. Wait ‘til Christmas to show me.”


	16. Chapter 16

May 12th, Entry 16

Bloody hell, it’s been months since I’ve actually taken the time to write anything in this journal. I’ve been so busy getting settled in with the new house and new job that I haven’t even thought about it. This thing nearly got lost during the move to the quiet, rural town that Tommy and I now call home. I never knew how much I’d love living next to a forest, hearing owls at night and songbirds in the morning. Seeing deer and rabbits roaming around in the backyard. It’s such a peaceful place…

I think Tommy really loves it here, too. I can just see the happiness in his eyes when he comes home after working at the ER. He still loves the stressful excitement of his job, but he’s told me that being with me, watching Netflix and falling asleep on the couch or just doing whatever, is when he’s happiest. I feel the same way when I’m with him. Of course Tommy and I have our differences. We argue about things sometimes, but I never expected, or wanted, our relationship to be perfect, and we always manage to sort out our problems. Honestly, just being with him makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay as long as we’re together.

Now that I think about it, I never really imagined how my life would turn out. Even after losing half my leg, I just tried to live day by day, without thinking too hard about what the future would be like. Now that I’m healed and Tommy and I are happily living together, I don’t think I’d want to change what happened in the past. Despite all I’ve been through, it’s my past that led to this future, and I can’t picture a life any better than the one I have now. I never thought it would turn out like this. I don’t think I ever expected to be this happy. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes things go wrong before everything can turn out right.


End file.
